National Infertility Awareness Week

This week, April 24-30 is National Infertility Awareness Week. 

I was reading the April 2011 issue of the Ensign LDS Church magazine earlier this month and to my surprise it had an article titled, "Faith and Infertility"  Usually you don't hear too much on infertility from The Church.  No one really talks about it and people at church can sometimes be pretty insensitive on the topic without meaning it.

I highly suggest reading the Ensign article.  If you don't have time to read the whole thing, please read this short excerpt:

[...] many people facing infertility look for the reason behind the struggle and sometimes blame themselves. Such thoughts and feelings can sting even more when others make well-intended but hurtful comments, often laced with misguided beliefs.

For instance, Melody Linton recalls sitting in testimony meeting and hearing new mothers say things like, “God trusted me enough to bless me with this baby.”

“I can understand why they said it,” Melody admits. “It’s a fair statement. But in my situation without a child, I couldn’t help but think, ‘God doesn’t trust me.’

Back in February 2010, about two months after my miscarriage, I chatted with a well-meaning sister at church, who was a glowing seven months pregnant and had a toddler playing at her feet.  She was being friendly and trying to get to know me better. 

Her: "I've seen you around church, but I just haven't introduced myself. Have you been in the ward long?"  
Me: "Yes, a little over two years now.  I work with your daughter in Activity Day Girls." 
Her: "Oh, I didn't realize... So are you married?"
Me: "Yes, for almost five years now."
Her: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "No."
Her: "So, do you not WANT kids or... has it just not happened yet?"
Me: "Uh, it just hasn't happened."
Her: "Oh."

I could tell she felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.  There was an awkward silence and she started  digging in her diaper bag for something.  Thank goodness the group part of the lesson ended at that moment and the teacher started talking.  I thought about leaving the room then and taking a moment to cry in the restroom, but I was able to pull myself together rather quickly and unnoticed.  I made a swift exit from Relief Society as soon as the "Amen" from the closing prayer sounded.

A few months ago my period was over a week late and I thought for sure I was pregnant.  A sister that I have worked closely with in the ward asked me, out of the blue, one day, "Are you pregnant?"  I stared down at my stomach in disbelief and I whispered back unable to contain it, "I don't know, but I hope so!" with a big smile on my face.  My period started that night.  It turns out I was just stressed about completing report cards on time.  The next Sunday she looked at me expectantly hoping for good news.  I simply responded, "Not this month."  She replied with, "You just need to relax a little.  Don't worry about it so much.  It WILL happen."  I gave the deflated response, "Yeah, I hope so."

I'm participating in the "Bust a Infertility Myth Blog Challenge." The challenge was given by  Resolve.org, the National Infertility Organization.  Here's a response to a common myth from their site.

Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant.

Busted!:  If only it were that easy! The fact is, the vast majority of individuals who have infertility have a medical reason, not a stress-related one. Upwards of 90% of all infertility cases are caused by physical problems.

For those who are interested in knowing more about infertility, you can visit this link: Infertility 101

I want to leave you with another quote from the Ensign article that I think applies to a lot more than just infertility.

“One of the gospel principles I’ve learned to appreciate through our experience is that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us,” Dave adds. “Sometimes we get caught up in the one-size-fits-all mentality, and we feel that our lives should look like other people’s lives. But that’s really not true. Everyone has different trials, and Heavenly Father is aware of those. If we are humble enough to follow the plan He has for us, we’ll be happy.”

Darwin's Surgery

Darwin was declawed Wednesday this week.  I scheduled it on purpose for during my spring break so I could be home to take care of him.  I REALLY didn't want to do it, but it became necessary after a few situations where things were destroyed.  We really did try every sort of behavioral thing that we could think of.  We bought floor scratching pads, scratching posts, wrapped rope around support beams in the basement, used spray water bottles when we caught him in the act, gave him treats when he didn't scratch, but things never got any better. 

At nighttime the cats participate in what Doug and I call a "Whirling Dervish," which basically means they run around the house like a bunch of crazies.  When Darwin comes to a doorway, he leaps and holds onto it with his claws and then slides down resulting in this...  This is how most of the doorways look in my newly built home.

 

Okay, so the doorway can be fixed.  It should only take hours of sanding and repainting all of the doorways in the house and then he'd probably do it all over again, but I REALLY didn't want to do the surgery.

THEN, a couple of months ago we bought a nice new desk for Doug's front office.  It was a beautiful cherry wood with a leather inlaid top.  We had spent months researching to find the right desk... and it wasn't exactly cheap.  When it came, we spent hours putting it together.  The next morning, we came downstairs and the leather top had been SHREDDED.  Doug let me know that morning that if Darwin didn't have an appointment to be declawed by __ date, then my precious Darwin would running along the side of the road somewhere or at a kitty shelter.  I begrudgingly made the appointment.

I dropped him off at the office for surgery on Wednesday and picked him up after work on Friday.  Here are some pictures from my phone of Darwin right after we got back from the vet's office.  Apparently, he didn't do very well in the little kennel after surgery and they had to put three different caution stickers on his cage.  In these pictures, he only has one paw bandaged because he already took the other one off.  When the bandages are ready to come off, the staff just cuts a slit at the top of it and let the animals take it off when they're ready.  The vets didn't get to put a slit in the other one, I'm guessing because of Darwin's friendly office manner, so I took care of it later and he had slipped the bandage off by the next morning.

Darwin needs to stay in strict seclusion for the next two weeks with shredded paper litter to help him heal.  They suggested a dog crate, but then I realized that we had an extra walk-in closet in one of the front bedrooms that has a window and everything.  I pulled the cushion off of a seat that we had and he is set for the next two weeks.  He actually seems happy with his little space and likes that he can look out the window and see all of the different happenings in the neighborhood.  I also have some pain killers that the vet gave me to give him every other day.

  

Here are some of the latest photos that I took today with my nice camera.  He's actually doing VERY well. He obviously isn't running around and playing like he used to, but he's been very affectionate and purring a lot whenever I pet him (which is a lot).  He doesn't look like he is in any pain that I can tell.

Cleaning his paws.

 Poor kitty!  You can see the stitches and other yuck from one of his paws in this picture.

See, he's okay!

Before I get any warnings on, "He can't go outside anymore."  Don't worry!  Darwin has always been an indoor cat out of necessity with his medium long fur.  At first he was pretty interested in the outside, but after a few supervised walks with big scary dogs barking at him, he decided that the outdoors was not something that interested him.  So he is perfectly content most days with being indoors.

Basement Plans

So, I've been bothering my husband non-stop about finishing the basement of our house for about two years now.  I've toyed with different ideas and done some drawings.  Yesterday, I sat down on my computer and drew this up in Paint. (I don't have any other software on my computer that I thought could do the job.)



First in the upper left-hand corner is the storage room/tank maintenance room.  I want to put in some big metal shelving units to organize food storage on the left side of the room.  Also, Doug and I used to have a salt water aquarium upstairs that we absolutely loved, but maintenance on it was overwhelming with Doug's long work hours from his last job, so we had to get rid of it.  He now has a job that has more reasonable hours (for the most part) and the location of the tank near the bathroom would make it easy to design some automated systems that would make the management of the tank a lot easier.

I call the place in front of where the tank is the "Tank Room" where the front of the salt water tank could be seen.  I'm thinking that there could be a couch or a built-in bench with storage underneath up against the bathroom wall.  I figure that area could also double as a play area if/when we get to have kids.

Doug has ideas for the TV room that involve surround sound and other such man toys.  The office is below the laundry room upstairs and it's kind of this random area that juts out of the house.  I figured we could put a desk and some shelves in there and call it an "Office" even though is really just an awkward 8x8 space.  The bedroom has a egress window so it technically can be called one.  The gray area next to the bedroom is a storage place under the stairs.

Now, I know absolutely nothing about construction or building anything.  I simply took measurements of where everything was in the basement.  There were a few things that I had no choice over like the two support beams in the middle of the room seen on either side of the blue tank.  The area where I have placed the bathroom is where the rough in's are located.  The workroom contains the water heater and HVAC system for the house, so that is dead space as well.  And of course the location of the stairs can't be changed. 

This would move our house into another buying category, a 4 bedroom 3.5 bath house which would be good if we ever need to sell.  Also, it would just be nice to not have it unfinished.  I lived my whole life in a house that was in various stages of unfinishedness so the current state of our basement basically drives me insane.

I tried to look up some basic guidelines for quotes on finishing the basement and I got a range from $4,000 to $24,000.  So right now we're looking for an actual quote that can narrow down that range a little further.  If it is in the upper end, I will just have to deal with the current state of my basement basically forever.  I don't think Doug would ever go for a price tag like that.  I'm hoping that we could get it ALL done for somewhere between 10-12,000, but that may just be hopeful thinking.

Any know someone handy in the Northern Virginia area that can do a job like this?

Pick Two

I went to Panera Bread to meet some friends from high school on Saturday.  It's been a while since I had seen them, so we talked the whole time in line.  When it was my turn to order, I hadn't even looked at the menu so I tried really quickly to figure out what I wanted to order.  There was one of those "Pick Two" deals so I decided on that.

In my hurry, I selected the Turkey Bacon Sandwich, the Tomato Soup, AND the Thai Chicken Salad.

The lady looked at me and said, "It's called Pick TWO.  Which means you can only pick TWO."

Oh yeah, I knew that.

March 32nd

"There's something on your shirt." [checks shirt] ... April Fools!

"You have something in your teeth." [unsuspecting victim picks self-consciously at teeth]... April Fools!

"Your shoe's untied." [looks down] ... April Fools!

x 28 students 

x 7 hours of school

April Fools in the classroom has been a nightmare in the past, so I decided to just skip it all together.  Yesterday was March 32 in my room.  The calendar was modified and all papers were dated as such.