30 Day Shred

So I was on babycenter (at around 3 in the morning) reading different posts from women in my birth club (moms of April 2013 babies) and several women in the group were talking about doing the "30 Day Shred." I googled it and saw lots of before and after shots. I read both the positive and negative reviews on Amazon and decided to go for it. I'm not necessarily doing this for weight loss, but for inches off.  My body has changed the way it distributes weight and I'm having difficulty fitting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably. I hate tight clothes! Leah is 6 weeks old and I've had doctor clearance to start working out (again?). I'm ready!

Why am I choosing this over the gazillion other exercise routines? Well, it's supposed to get you quick results and it only lasts 30 days. I like that it has an exact beginning and end dates and that the whole routine only takes 30 minutes. I can do it during Leah's morning nap and it gives me a little routine to my day. It's something that I can realistically stick to.

I decided to take some before shots and boy did they mess with my self esteem! My belly and butt are NOT looking good. I felt embarrassed when I looked back at the picture. I guess I had been feeling "thin" since I didn't have a huge pregnant belly anymore, but the pictures (especially the side view) were sobering. I'm not sharing the pictures on my blog unless I have some pretty awesome after results, but I guess I'll share my measurements.

Arms - 11 in

Waist - 33 in

Belly - 38 in

Butt - 43 in

Thighs - 24 in

Right now, I'm within 5 pounds of pre-baby and 15 pounds of where I guess I'd ideally like to be. I've never really been stuck on getting into a size 2 or anything. I'm very happy with my regular size 8-10 body. Also, I've never really been one for dieting. I like to eat and I'd rather work it off than starve myself or eat... healthy... ugh.  Maybe I will just need to change that and develop a taste for foods rather than Ramen and grilled cheese sandwiches... But I'm not giving that up just yet!

I started the workout yesterday and it was killer! I wanted to give up like 5 minutes in. I stuck it out and I did the second day today. I've realized that I could/should NEVER do any exercise in public or around people. My form is horrid and I am completely uncoordinated.  I'm trying hard to do the exercises exactly the way she is showing them. I don't want to get injured and have to quit before the end.

So, here goes nothing! I probably won't be done in exactly 30 days because my in-laws will be staying with us for around a week for Leah's blessing. I will have company in the house that I will NOT want to see me looking ridiculous while I exercise.

Pinterest and a Party!

It's true. I'm using. Pinterest.

I signed up for Pinterest about a year ago during my summer off. I was immediately overwhelmed by the cuteness and creativeness of all of the ideas. I am not creative. I am not original. I'm definitely not cute. I stink!

I never wanted to get on Pinterest again. I felt completely inadequate.

Fast forward about 11 months or so... It's 3 in the morning and I'm up feeding Leah. I'm glued to a rocking chair with no hope of getting up for the next 15-30 minutes. No one is updating their Facebook status and I've caught up with all of the blogs I read... What to do, what to do...

It started innocently enough with looking for ideas on how to decorate the STILL bare walls of Leah's nursery and then it turned into newborn photography tips, and then home improvement projects, and then cleaning tips, (VINEGAR works miracles!) and then, and then, and then...

It turns out that you don't need to be creative, or original, OR cute. Pinterest just helps you LOOK like you are! I've stopped looking at Pinterest as pressure or as a look-how-much-better-everyone-else-is and started to look at it for what it is... a way to cheat for people like myself.

It's all in your perspective. So now I can show you "my" creative, cute, original ideas... that I got off Pinterest.

While I was browsing for photography tips, I stumbled upon an idea to create a board book with pictures of the different family members... Leah's BFF, Brooke, was going to be having her one year birthday party and it was the PERFECT gift! Brooke loves to read and comes from a very close-knit family. I borrowed an external hard drive from my friend Caitlin (Brooke's mom) with tons of family pictures that I sorted through to find the right ones. Then, I used the website www.pintsizeproductions.com to create and print the book. It turned out just the way I wanted it to!

That was going to be it and then... Darn Pinterest! I stumbled upon these cute toddler purses and I decided that I needed a sewing project to get started with my new sewing machine. My problem was that I didn't really have any fabric, my mom's (rather large) stash is pretty outdated, and Leah doesn't do well on shopping trips. Then, I realized that I DID indeed have fabric. One of my baby shower presents was a bunch of different fat quarters for quilting. With the help of my mom, I was able to create my own pattern that used 2 fat quarters (outside + lining) and a skinny quarter (border for name and strap.) We also used some stuff (I forget what it's called) that I ironed onto the back of the fabric to stiffen it up, so the purse could keep its shape. My mom had some left over ribbon and she has a sewing machine that does embroidery, so I was able to put together what I think is a pretty cute little personalized purse! It's a Brookebag!

Brooke had an amazing birthday party! Leah at 5 1/2 weeks was able to hold her own with all of her one year old buddies. (...and by holding her own, I mean napping on my lap for most of the party and then waking up for the group picture!) I know she looks teeny in these pictures compared to the other littles, but she really is growing up so fast. I love my little sweet girl!

Leah 1 Month Old

Each day is new and different with you, Leah. You are growing and changing so quickly. Right now you weigh a little over 10 pounds and are about 24 inches long. You wear mostly newborn clothes and a few 0-3 month clothes. You have REALLY long feet! You have never fit into newborn socks and your feet barely fit on the paper for your footprints when you were born. We bumped you up into a size 1 diaper around 3 weeks after daddy couldn't find the brand of newborn size diapers that mommy asked for after traveling to 3 different stores! They're a little big on you. Here is your one month picture. You are wearing the bib daddy got you from Italy and "eating" the lamb stuffed animal he had made for you in Germany.

At your 2 week appointment the doctor commented on how strong you were and the nurse said you were acting more like a one month old because you almost rolled over on the scale. You have been pretty good about supporting your head and focusing your eyes basically since you were born. (You were only 3 days old in the picture below.) You have very strong legs and you use them to scoot yourself forward during tummy time.

Right now, you sleep best in bed with mommy. Sometimes I move you a foot or so away only to wake up later with you somehow snuggled next to me. I love it! You always sleep with your hands balled up in fists next to your face. You have a teeny tiny snore!

Your favorite time of day is around 10am. You are the most awake at this time and you like to jerk your arms and legs around while you lay in your play gym. You particularly enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror at the top. Your worst time of day starts around 6 pm. You constantly want to nurse. (I'm talking 3+ hours straight!) Even Grandpa H who is renown for putting babies to sleep can't get you to stop crying during this time!

Your eyes constantly move in the direction of any light. I wonder if "light" will be your first word like it was your daddy's. You like to sit up and face forward in my arms when I carry you, so that you can see everything! You have prehensile toes like your daddy and you grab onto my finger with your toes just like you do with your hands. You haven't quite fallen in love with your binky. You usually make a pretty skeptical or angry face initially when it is put in your mouth. You started to warm up to it a little around 2 1/2 weeks when we introduced the bottle. 

You hate cold wipes on your bottom, so diaper changes are usually a scream fest. You also hate the hiccups. I usually have about 10 hiccups warning before you "go nuclear" as your daddy says. You love having your legs and feet rubbed and it usually is a good way to get you to calm down. Bath time has been hit and miss. You seem to be thinking about whether or not you are going to like it.

I sure do love being your mommy!

Smiley Unscheduled Leah

I am loving being a mom! There are definitely some moments when it's rough, but I usually just sit there in awe most days over how much I am in love with this little girl.  The other day I was sitting on the couch with her and I thought.. Wow! I made this. How cool is that! 

So what are we up to?

Well after my last post, I skowered the Internet looking for different schedules and I found one that I thought would work for me. (There are some eh hem... Interesting "methods" out there. Just google Denmark's Divas.) The one that I liked was from a book called Baby Wise. I actually heard there was some controversy over the book, but I wanted to at least try it. Now I haven't read the book, but I thought that the 3 hours feeding schedule seemed nice and consistent and I know as a classroom teacher that I like consistency. Consistency makes expectations clear therefore making a more safe and predictable situation. Safety = happy baby, right?

So, I tried it. ...admittedly only for a day, but it was a NIGHTMARE!

New plan.

Do whatever the heck Leah wants until she's a little older.

When she is sleeping, I will let her sleep as long as she likes doesn't matter day or night. When she is hungry, I will feed her. Sounds simple enough... And it's actually working. I'm sure we'll get to a schedule eventually. I think I'm just going to try to be patient and allow it to start happening on its own.

Our major rough time starts around 6pm. I've heard this is called "The Bewitching Hour." She just wants to nurse and fuss and nurse some more. My supply in the evenings is lower, so I've been pumping during her morning nap and giving her a bottle of that in the evenings once she's drained me. There's still a lot of crying, but it's improving gradually.

Hmmm.. What else?

I had my post pardem visit today at 5 weeks. I'm trying out the Depo provera shot as a form of birth control. Pregnancy was good for me emotionally besides the morning sickness and huge uncomfortableness toward the end. The Depo shot mimics the hormones in a placenta, so it seemed like a good enough choice. If I have any adverse side effects for the next 3 months that it lasts, I guess I can just switch to something else. The best news of the appointment is that my doctors says that it is possible that pregnancy could have "cured" my endometriosis!  She sent me an email today after our appointment and decided that she wanted to schedule me to a follow-up ultrasound just to check things out. I'm feeling optimistic about my chance for future pregnancies!

After the appointment, I decided to stop by the school since its pretty close to my doctor's office. I texted my long term sub to see if it would be okay and then I headed over after my appointment. It was SO nice to see everyone and show them Leah. I was hanging out in the teachers lounge and the kids had no clue I was in the school, so we decided it would be funny if I just went to the cafeteria to pick them up from lunch.

They.  FLIPPED.  OUT.    In a good way of course. :)

I stayed around for recess as well since it was a nice day, but none of my kids wanted to play. They were just mobbing around Leah and I the whole time. I felt like Justin Bieber. ;)

Once I was home I thought Leah would crash HARD. She had already been awake for FIVE hours by the time I got home, so I put her in her crib and she just started smiling and cooing, so I got these great pictures. Seeing this little girl smile just melts me!

Schedule, Pleeease?

Motherhood has really been wonderful so far. Yes, there are definitely the sleepless nights, but this little girl is incredible. Some nights when I finally get her to sleep, I just stop and watch her for a while (even though I am incredibly tired) and think about how amazing it is that I helped create this little girl.

The thing that I am missing now is some semblance of a schedule. I do realize that scheduling a newborn is probably along the same line as herding cats, but I have always done best with a schedule. Early last week, I was having a hard time feeling productive... and when I don't feel productive I can sink into a mini depression. (I don't think this was post pardem depression.) It happens sometimes during my summers off work. I know now that my new job is taking care of my little Leah, but I couldn't help wonder, "Is this my life now?"

Feed, Sleep, Change Diaper - repeat.

I know that newborns don't stay newborns forever and that I should just enjoy this snugly phase before it's gone. Don't worry, I am definitely getting in several hours a day of snuggle time! I just need to feel like I have something to SHOW for the time that has passed. I know I will not be able to accomplish nearly the amount of stuff I could pre-mommihood, but it'd be nice to accomplish more than pulling the wind up chain on my cuckoo clock from Germany each day.

I decided to calculate how the hours in my 24 hour day are spent.

1. Leah sleeps at this point for about 18 hours a day. - So she's awake 6 hours.
2. Let's say I get 8 hours of sleep (not consecutive, of course!)
3. I nurse Leah about 12 times a day for around 30 minutes each session - 6 hours
4. 6 + 8 + 6 = 20 hours of "busy" time.
5. 24 - 20 = 4 hours

Wow! Now THAT is a full time job! And WOW, I really have 4 WHOLE hours to myself. The possibilities are limitless! ;)

I sat down today at my computer (during a portion of my 4 hours) and tried to put together a schedule while Leah was napping. I'm not going to share it because it's probably pretty ridiculous and rigid at this point, but it's nice to know that EVENTUALLY we will get to some sort of schedule and I can be OK with my unscheduled, unproductive life right now.

I guess I can spend some of my 4 hours of "ME time" each day snuggling with Leah.

I'm posting from my iPad which only allows me to put the pictures at the end of the post, so here are some pictures of my little snuggler who's peaceful and doll-like while sleeping, but rather grumpy in the mornings. She loves her little play gym and even makes faces at the mirror. We also do some tummy time each day which wears her out! :)