Happy Holidays!

Doug and I rotate the major holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas between his family and my family.  This year Doug and I flew out to Utah to spend Thanksgiving at his parents' place and then stayed local to have Christmas at my family's new house.   It was weird not being at the old house, but as you can see it's unavailable while under a bit of construction.

My dad (who is 60) has been doing ALL of the work on his OWN.  I think he should just pay someone already!

While we were out in Utah, I got to see my grandparents and do a cousin's dinner.  I was looking through some cupboards at my grandma's house when I stumbled upon a cabinet full of photo albums.  Unfortunately, my time there was limited so I didn't get to stay and listen to as many stories as I would have liked, but I did snap a few pictures of pictures.  Here are a few of my favorites...

This is a picture of my grandpa (third from the left) playing football in junior high.

This picture is of my grandparents (couple on left) at some swank restaurant called the Moulin Rouge in Hollywood, California.

I LOVED all the stories that my grandma told me and I hope to be able to take an extended trip out this summer to be able to scan in these images and write down the many family stories that go with them.  While I was out in Utah, I got to see my adorable niece, Eva... and my sister Kierstan too.  Eva is such a good baby!

Eva, Me, and Kier (LOVE Eva's shirt by the way!)

 After visiting with my grandparents, we were able to spend the rest of the time up north with Doug's family.  We had a blast playing laser tag, making gingerbread houses, eating a yummy Thanksgiving dinner, getting some family pictures taken, and basically just doing fun family time things.

Our gingerbread house was AWESOME this year!

We took some pictures in front of the tree at Doug's parents' house while we were in Utah for Thanksgiving.

So onto Christmas...

It was weird being in the new house, but it was still a fun Christmas.  My dad changed things up and it was basically chaos.  Instead of having an order with one person opening at a time, he just started tossing gifts in every direction.  Heather and her family were able to come up and join us as well.  It was pretty crazy having Christmas in the morning and then needing to get everyone ready for church, but we had to make it on time considering that church was only an hour block instead of the usual three hour block.

Here's the list of what Doug and I got for each other.

 

What Doug gave Jenny:

Hoover Windtunnel vacuum cleaner

External flash for my Nikon

Remote for my Nikon

What Jenny gave Doug:

<--- Leather recliner for reading

Folding table to work on computers

Rudolph Ornament Set --->

Here are a few pictures that I've taken so far with my external flash.  We set up a sort of "studio" at the bottom of the stairs.  You can see the remote in the the hands of some of the kids.  They thought it was pretty cool to be able to take their own pictures.  At this point, I'm just messing with the settings so I can try to get the hang of it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

High-Jacked

So some crazy, negative chick high on Lupron, who complains a lot, high-jacked my blog and changed it to this new darn "enhanced" look with no gadgets on the sidebar. It's too much of a pain to change it back to the way it was, so I'm just going to have to deal with until it improves. She also changed my Facebook over to timeline!

Yeah, well besides having multiple personalities, I'm doing well. I got all of my Christmas shopping basically done this Saturday online and a little in the stores. My credit card got rejected because apparently shopping at two online retailers (Barnes & Noble and Amazon), filling my car with gas, and then going grocery shopping is a sign of fraud. I guess I need to shop more.

I hope this school week goes fast. No one wants to be there (and that includes the teachers). I'm looking forward to sleeping in for several days in a row. After school is out, I have a couple different get-togethers planned with a couple different high school friends. Besides that, I don't really have much planned for my break. Maybe I should start contacting contractors to put the build-in in the front room... Or buy the crown molding for the front two rooms.. Or paint the kitchen and family room... Or...eh, I'll probably do nothing.

Lupron

So two weeks ago, I went in to get the DepoLupron shot.  Yes, the one that is supposed to put me through a temporary menopause.  I was going to get it the Monday before Thanksgiving, but my stupid brain got all hopeful that I got pregnant my ONE whole month off of birth control.

Getting my period feels like serious punishment after all that hope. Especially when it was a whole three days late and I had caved and gotten on the stupid Baby Center due date calculator the night before. (Would've been an August 9th due date if you were wondering.) The first day is pretty terrible both physically and emotionally.   Now for those of you that know me outside of my blog, you know I am not one for drama.  I don't really cry.  I rarely take pain pills and NEVER take sick days.  I'm just not one of those high maintenance or emotional gals.  The only time I really cry is sometimes when I'm watching TV.

Whenever I researched endometriosis online, everyone wrote on the message boards about how much terrible pain they were in and I always thought Lucky me, I'm glad I don't have THAT type of endometriosis.  Well it turns out that my luck is no more.  After the month of November when I wasn't on any form of treatment, the first day of my period was pretty terrible.  That Saturday I was curled up in bed, crying, and grasping at my right side.  "Doctor Doug" made sure that I was comfortable with a heating pad, pain pills, and food when I was up for it.  Luckily, the severe pain really only lasts that first day.  Throughout the month though, I get these short stabbing pains in my right back side that last anywhere from 2-10 seconds.  Sometimes they knock the breath right out of me and I have to stop whatever I am doing.  Other times, I just grimace and it is over as quickly as it begun.

So about this shot...  As soon as I got my period, I was ready to get it like yesterday.  I called up my nurse and they were able to give it to me that Monday right after school.  The good news was that they were able to give me the time-release one that is three months worth of medicine in one shot, rather than going in three different times and paying three separate $30 co-pays.  With all the research that I did on the darn drug, nothing told me that I was going to get a shot in my hip.  Ouch!  At the doctor's office when I got into the room, I started pulling up my sleeves when the nurse kindly gave me the bad news that it would need to go in my hip.  I decided to stand for it, but I guess I didn't do a good job at relaxing because I was limping around for about 24 hours afterward with some sore muscles.

As far as side effects, I really think I have lucked out.  For the first week and a half, I was getting constant canker sores on the inside of my mouth on the gums between my teeth and my lips.  It hurt to smile and eat, but I was just thankful that it was inside my mouth and not on my face.  (Fourth graders are still learning that it is impolite to ask someone why they have a big ugly sore on their face.)  About three or so days in, I felt really depressed, but Doug was out of town (once again) and I was probably just missing him.  I don't think I've gotten any hot flashes yet.  I've been waking up in the middle of the night because I'm warm, but I think it's just because I've been turning my heater blanket up too high.  I also get noticeably hungry faster, but besides that I'm pretty sure I've just been normal me.  The side effect that I am hoping for is for these pains in my right side to go away... and of course, eventually pregnancy.

I'm turning 28 in February.  Doug and I will have been married for 7 years this May.  I'm really thankful that we've gotten this time to ourselves to work out the kinks and to get to know each other even better.  Maybe we needed it?  My problem is that I keep on waiting for my life, my REAL one to begin.  The one where Doug and I get to have cute family pictures to send in Christmas newsletters, where I get to pick up and drop off kids at practices, where I check over homework and help with ridiculous science fair projects... all that tedious stuff that moms sometimes complain about.  I see the little ones in church snuggling up to their mothers, crying mommy when they fall down, holding their hand when they walk.  I want it all so bad. 

This isn't the life that I thought I would be living, not even close.  But it's mine.

The "M" Word

It's been about three weeks since I've turned on my desktop computer.  Right now it's on because I'm updating my iPad.  I'm hoping the new update will allow me to post on blogger.

Anyway, I guess I'll update you on my life while my iPad is updating.

School is going well.  My kids are starting to get along and I have really great parent support this year.  I had a student that never showed up and a student that moved, so I'm down to 25 students, WO HOO!!  Shhh!  Don't tell anyone at my school.  I'm pretty sure it's a whole two students lower than any of the other fourth grade classrooms.  I guess that just means I'll get the first new student, but I'll just count myself lucky for now.

On the health/getting pregnant front... Well things are not what I wanted them to be.  On Halloween, I finished the last of the birth control prescription that my doctor put me on a few months ago to treat the endometriosis.  I got an ultrasound a week ago to check on everything and yesterday I had an appointment scheduled to discuss it all.  I was pretty excited for my appointment because I figured my doctor would be giving me the thumbs up for trying to get pregnant.  I was already dreaming of a late summer/early fall due date.  Silly me.

Well, I get in there and it turns out that my ultrasound was not good.  They're not exactly sure, but it looks like I still have an endometrioma on my right ovary that looks to be about 3 centimeters.  That's a lot better than the 10 centimeters that it was pre-surgery, but I'm pretty sure they were hoping for 0 centimeters.  The birth control I was on for three straight months didn't do what it was supposed to do.  Time wasted.  Now that I'm off birth control, things are untreated and it will just get worse every month.

I'm sitting there trying to figure out what all of this means.  Then my doctor asks me,

"Well it all depends on if you want a baby now or later?"

Tears are starting to form and I'm trying so hard to keep everything together.  "YES, I want a baby now.  I've been going through this now for over two years.  I want a baby yesterday."

She looks at me with a sad face and hands me a tissue.  Then, she turns over a piece of paper and starts making a little t-chart.  On the top of the t-chart are two headings "Baby Now" and "Baby Later."  She starts with the "Baby Later" side...

Option 1: There's a drug called Depo Lupron.  Its kind of like the Depo-Provera shot that women get for birth control except basically the exact opposite.  Depo makes a woman's body believe that she is pregnant by mimicking hormones that the placenta releases during pregnancy.  Lupron would make me go through a temporary MENOPAUSE, with hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings... all that fun stuff.  The treatment would take about 2-3 months depending on it's effectiveness, and THEN she'd put me on Clomid (a fertility drug) and we'd try to get pregnant right away.  She said that this medicine is very effective and that the endometrioma would go away.  Great... another 3 months of waiting...

Option 2: Now to the "Baby Now" side which I was hoping would be a lot better.  She basically said that we COULD try now, but she's not sure if I could even get pregnant.  When the endometriosis is bad, I can't get pregnant.  She doesn't know how bad it is right now.  You can't see endometriosis with an ultrasound.  The risks are not good.  There's a chance that the endometrioma could grow back again without treatment and I would be in the operating room again in a few months.  If we do this option, I will need to be closely monitored with ultrasounds 1-2 times monthly.

Decisions, decisions...

I talked to Doug about it when I got home.  Even though he was very weary of the Lupron, he didn't even hesitate to go with the "Baby Later" side.  He is first and foremost concerned about my health.  Ugh, figures!  It turns out my problem is that I want a baby more than I don't want to have surgery again.  The Depo Lupron seems pretty extreme (and scary) to both of us, but we want to make SURE that there is an endometrioma in there before I start taking it.

Right now, we're just going to try to get a better idea of things.  My doctor is having me schedule an MRI so she can get a better look at everything and we're going to do another ultrasound in about a week.  The problem is that they can't tell what is my ovary and what is the endometrioma.  Hopefully the MRI will clear up that up.

I'm praying right now that what they THINK is an endometrioma is just my ovary looking nice and plump and ready to make a baby.

Good Days and Bad Days

Yesterday started out Baaad, yes with a capital B.  One of my more demanding students this year injured some safety patrol and then came in the classroom screaming and out of control.  Then, about 5-10 minutes later several students ran to me at the door telling me about a weapon that had been brought into the classroom.  It wasn't scary because that student is not violent at all and there were absolutely no violent intentions, but it was quite a way to start the day.  On Wednesdays, I get one planning break at the very beginning of the day and that was taken up dealing with the first two situations.  Needless to say, we just tried to have a calm day after that.  I'll admit we watched a Reading Rainbow on trees that only matched up with the standard I was teaching about 75% of the way.

Then during lunch, I got a call from my mom who was waiting at my house for the delivery guys to bring the couches for the basement.  Apparently they didn't think it was going to fit down the stairs to the basement so they wanted my approval for a waiver that said that they would not be held liable if the couch knocked and holes in the wall and/or was broken in the process.  I went ahead and had her sign it because I was kind of desperate to get the couches in on a day that my mom could be there and I wouldn't have to take off work. I was really sweating it because I was pretty sure this was going to thing number three. Then, I got the text...

It was in with NO holes in the walls and NO damage to the couch.  I'm pretty sure we'll be selling them with the house though. :)

Here's a picture of the couches in the newly finished basement.

I stayed late at school, got a bunch of grading done, and then called a friend who I used to work with that could give me some advice on some situations I was dealing with.  It was great to vent, but more awesome to come up with some possible solutions even if they only work temporarily.

Before going to bed, I said a prayer where I mentioned something that I was thankful for in each one of my current students.  It helped me realize just how good of a class I have this year.  Even though I have some interesting personalities in my class, it will be OKAY and we are going to have an awesome year.

Today was a much better day. :)

Oh and one more thing that made today just that much more awesome.  Doug called and told me that he would be able to come home this weekend and SEE ME!!!!!  It will have been 18 days since I have seen him in person (the longest by far in our marriage).  I have missed him SO much and can't wait to see him TOMORROW even though I know it will only be for the weekend.

Random Mumblings

Recently...

-Doug is traveling. For 6 weeks. I've made it through 3 weeks so far. Reception is spotty so we don't get to talk much. I've been really proud of myself for being disciplined and going to sleep before 10 pm (most of the time). I've woken up EVERY morning at 5 am for work. Every night since he been gone, I've woken up randomly around 2 or 3 am. I just couldn't get to bed again this time. It's lonely.

-School started. 26 kiddos so far. The majority of this group loves to talk. But not about school. I'm working hard to change this into something productive. The beginning of the school year with a new class is like training a puppy, scratch that... litter of puppies. It's going to take time and it's a lot of work. I love them to death, but I miss the familiarity and discipline of my last dog, I mean uh class. Did that make sense?

Of course not. It's now 4 in the morning. I'm pretty sure I have these same feelings every single year.

What else, well...

-The carpet is in and the basement is basically done. It looks really good. The furniture is being delivered next week. For some reason, I haven't been able to get excited about it. It just makes my empty house feel emptier these days.

-I got to go to the temple with my sister Heather and her family this last weekend. Their stake was having a temple day. My parent's stake is having one this weekend. I haven't been to the temple two consecutive times this close together since I got married... over 6 years ago.

-Got the hospital bill or rather "Explanation of Benefits" in the mail yesterday. The whole thing cost over $20,000! I paid $30. Are doctors paid a salary or do they get bonuses for performing expensive surgeries? ...Thankful for good health insurance.

-I'm still on this darn birth control that my doctor prescribed to help with the endo. Having to take this dumb little pill every day is rather disheartening. I keep on telling myself that this is a means to an end and that I should be able to see the end in sight, but when I look at how much longer I have, it seems like an eternity.

-I think it must be messing with my hormones. I feel emotionally dead inside at times and other times I have to hold back sobs after hearing a story on the radio or watching a movie. Seriously, this last weekend I had to hold back tears while watching "The Living Scriptures: Nephi Builds a Boat." I'm not kidding. I feel messed up.

In an attempt to be happy, I've bought the ingredients for monkey bread and I'm taking it to school tomorrow to share with the teachers. Feeding myself and others yummy food will hopefully help me be happy. I'm really trying here.

Down to Earth Granola

We scheduled an appointment with Home Depot to have the bathroom floor in the basement measured for tile.  They didn't call until 9:00am to tell me that they were going to be here some time between 2:30 and 4:30pm.  I was going to go into work, but with driving, I only would have gotten in about 3 hours of work...

So, I decided to stay home and work on channeling my inner housewife.

This recipe has a little story.  Doug's Aunt Leslie is a great cook... well all of his aunts are because they learned from grandma.  Each time we go to her house, Doug snacks on her homemade "grainola" the whole time.  I asked for the recipe last time I was down there in June and finally decided to make it today.

Down to Earth Granola - Aunt Leslie
4 c. Old Fashioned Oats
1 1/2 c. Sliced Almonds
1/2 c. Packed Brown Sugar
1/2 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1/3 c. Cooking Oil
1/3 c. Honey
1 tsp. Vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
2. In a bowl mix the oats, almonds, brown sugar, salt, and cinnamon.
3. In a saucepan, warm the oil and honey (do not boil).
4. Stir in vanilla after the oil and honey are warmed.
5. Pour liquid in saucepan over dry oat mixture in bowl.
6. Stir until just coated
7. Spray baking pan with non-stick spray (line with aluminum foil beforehand if you like)
8. Spread mixture into 15 x 10 x 1 inch baking pan (deep cookie pan).
9. Bake 30 minutes stirring gently every 10 minutes.
10. Remove from oven and let cool before breaking into pieces.

Step 2: Mix all dry ingredients in a big bowl.

Steps 3-4: Warm oil and honey in saucepan, then add vanilla.

ALL DONE!  Time to eat it all!

I despise doing dishes, so most of the time I make Doug do them since I do all of the cooking.  I went ahead and cleaned up after this because it was so easy.  I just made sure to put down aluminum foil in the cookie pan first.  It took two pieces because I want to make edges to keep it all in.

The good thing is that this stuff is cheaper (AND TASTES BETTER) than the granola I buy in the grocery store.  It wasn't hard at all to make.  The hardest part was remembering to set the timer so I could stir it each time.  I also like that all of the ingredients, except for maybe the sliced almonds, are things that you have in your food pantry already.

After I took it out of the oven the last time, I let it sit for about 20 minutes before eating it.  It wasn't quite hard yet, but OH was it SO tasty.  Once it's completely hardened, I'll put it in a cereal container and add it to lunches to put in yogurt.   That is, if I don't eat it all first.

Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves

Disclaimer: I didn't take pictures, but this is basically what it looks like.

So, I'm not sure if this recipe is something that others had growing up, but my family had it tons.  Yesterday, I was trying to come up with something new for dinner that I had the ingredients for and I ended up making Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves.  Basically it is little meatloaves wrapped in bacon... and since bacon basically makes everything better, they were VERY tasty.

I cut the recipe in half for just the two of us and made a few simple substitutions because I didn't have some exact ingredients.  I crossed those out and put what I used instead. (If you make it, you can use whatever is most convenient.  I personally didn't notice a change in taste.)

Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves Recipe
2 lbs. ground beef
1 1/2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs
1 c. dry bread crumbs toasted bread (crumbled)
3 Tbsp dehydrated minced onions
1 tsp instant beef bouillon 1 package onion soup mix
1/3 c. lemon juice
1/4 c. water
8 slices bacon

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.  
2. Mix beef, cheese, eggs, bread crumbs, onions, lemon juice, water, and bouillon.  (onion soup mix)
3. Shape mixture into 8 little loaves.
4. Cut bacon strips in half
5. Place bacon strips crisscrossed on each loaf, tucking ends under loaf
6. Place loaves on a rack (or broiler pan) in shallow baking pan.
7. Bake uncovered for 50 minutes

Makes 8 servings

I didn't have a rack OR a broiler pan, so I just put them on one of my deeper cookie sheets and lined it with aluminum foil.  I turned the edges of the foil up so it created a sort of bowl to keep the juices from going everywhere.  (Clean up was a BREEZE!)

I like this better than just plain old meatloaf because ONE - the serving size is already determined by the little loaves, so dishing up is a breeze. TWO - each little loaf is cooked perfectly and gets a little crispy, and THREE - the bacon (duh!)

Enjoy!

Presenting... Eva Lynn

My sister Kierstan had her baby yesterday!!!  Eva Lynn (the E is a long A sound) is Kierstan's first baby.

Eva Lynn, born 4:35pm, 7lbs 14oz, 20.5in long

I felt pretty grateful for modern technology yesterday.  I used my iPad to video chat with Kierstan and Court (her husband) while they were at the hospital.  They "called" me beforehand and we were able to talk and make bets about how big she would be.  (My guess was a little high at 8lb 4 oz.) My sister said that the epidural went in okay, but apparently it was only numbing one side of her body so she would feel some of the contractions in her right hip.  I think she said that they were supplementing the epidural with something else.  She honestly seemed a tad bit out of it.  They had induced her earlier that morning just a day after her due date and she had been in labor for several hours at that point.  They had to go suddenly whenever the doctor came in and told her it was time to start pushing.

Afterward I got a "call" back from Court and was able to see Eva pretty soon after she was born.  I got a little teary-eyed as I saw her for the first time.  She just looked so quiet and peaceful.  (Court said that she entered the world much more loudly and has quite the set of lungs on her!) Seeing my sister lay there with Eva on her chest was amazing.  Kierstan seemed so much more alert than when I had seen her before the birth.  She was just completely spellbound by Eva and couldn't stop looking at her.  I could tell that she was totally and absolutely in love with her.

You can't tell in the picture, but Eva has dark hair and dark eyes (definitely my family's strong gene's at work).  She is also the smallest baby born out of all of my nieces and nephews.  I am so excited for my sister.

Being able to be "there" (even though it wasn't in person) was amazing.  With all of the problems I've had getting pregnant and the pain from the cysts and surgery, there were little fleeting moments when I thought that maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother.

I want it now more than ever.

Starting Running... Again

So I started running again yesterday.  At the post op appointment I had on Tuesday, my doctor said that I could start exercising again, so I decided to go RIGHT into it.  If it wouldn't have been like a million degrees outside when my appointment was over, I probably would have started right then.  Why so enthusiastic?  Well, it's not that I'm totally addicted to running. (I do LIKE it though.) Honestly, I was just really worried that I would never go running another day in my life if I didn't start up immediately.

This time around, I'm going to do it differently.  First and foremost, I'm going to try to do what I didn't do before.  LISTEN TO MY BODY.  I pushed myself way too hard last time and ended up getting injured by hurting my knee very early on.  I know the whole cyst/surgery mess was what forced me to stop running, but I probably would've had to take a break anyway with how much I was hurting.  The last two days that I've gone running, I've started with a warm up where I walk for about five minutes and then do some stretches.  It's worked well.  I have a teeny tiny bit of soreness that I can tell is related to the surgery, but I'm really fine besides that.  I haven't gotten new running shoes yet, but I'm waiting to see if I can keep this up AFTER the school year starts before I make the investment.

If I can continue some sort of running routine at least a week into school, then I will reward myself with a pair of shiny new running shoes.  I saw the Potomac River Running store near the new Cobb theater the other week, so I'll probably go there to get an evaluation done.  Hopefully its not ridiculously pricey because I'm feeling broke with all of the costs of finishing the basement.  (I'll be posting some pictures and blogging about the basement progress soon, but you can check out the album on Facebook for right now.)

I stuck with my same neighborhood routine from last time of two miles and I've been feeling GREAT afterward.  I seriously get depressed in the summertime when I don't have anything to do.  Running gives me this burst of energy throughout the day and I feel SO much better!  The funny thing about starting up again is that my legs totally itch while I'm running, but I remember that from last time and I think it will go away soon.

Here's a picture of the sunrise this morning!

Honestly though, it is super hard to get out of bed.  Knowing that it is summer and I can totally sleep in until noon if I like, makes it hard to get the motivation in the morning.  I've been getting up at 5am with Doug the last two days and STAYING up.  I have to literally force myself out of bed and into my closet to get into my running clothes, but after that I'm usually ready. :)

This morning when I went out it surprised me how dark it was.  It was seriously scary and depressing at the same time!  Scary, because it feels like something is going to jump out at you with every tree and bush you run by.  Depressing, because I know this means that the days are getting shorter and summer is almost over.

That leads me into a question that I've had in the back of my mind... How do you continue your running routine in the winter?  We have a treadmill that my parents gave us in the basement that works well, but I seriously hate running on it.  Is that the only solution or are there like hardcore ice runners out there. :)

A Little Insensitive

I realize that by writing this on my blog, I may be offending some family members, but I'm kind of tired of hiding my feelings and then having people hurt me unintentionally.  Some of my family can be really insensitive (without meaning it) about the whole not getting pregnant thing.  I REALLY do not want people walking on egg shells around me, but I think there does need to be a teeny tiny bit of sensitivity.

For those of you that may have been following my blog for a while you may remember this post.  I was snowed in the house with nothing to do except sort through all of the baby clothes that my oldest sister had given me.  It doesn't say so in the post and I haven't talked about it before, but I was actually pregnant (and pretty sure of it) at the time while I was going through everything.  I went through all of the clothes separating them by size and carefully folding them into Tupperware containers.  I envisioned the little life growing inside of me (if it was a girl of course) getting to wear a lot of the cute outfits my sister had passed down to me.  I was really excited.

Unfortunately things did not turn out the way I had hoped and my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. 

I announced it a while ago when I started blogging again, but my sister Kierstan, who lives in Utah is pregnant.  She is due to have her first baby, a little girl named Eva, any day now.  When my sister found out that she was pregnant, I was VERY happy for her.  She had expressed some concern that she was nervous about talking about her pregnancy with me because of the situation I was in.  I told her, that if the tables were turned, that I would want to be able to talk to my sister, so I INSISTED that she call me about EVERY little thing.  She would call and update me on the latest and I'm glad she did.  Honestly, it was a little hard, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

During the time I was going through all of the scary surgery stuff, my sister who gave me the clothes was in town to visit.  She was really awesome and drove me to all of the doctors appointments that I had prior to my surgery.  My mom, during all of this, explained to me that they wanted to go through the baby clothes (that my oldest sister had GIVEN me) to send it to Kierstan.  I was a little surprised at the request, but told them they could come any time they liked to pick it up.  I never heard anything else from anyone about the baby clothes, so I figured that they had made other plans.

Today, I am picking up my mom to take her to the airport so she can be there with Kierstan when she has the baby.  My mom called me early this morning and  ... asked ... about ... the ... clothes.  She wondered if I could sort through the clothes and just pick out the dresses that we had all worn as children so that little Eva could have something to wear on Sundays.

I hadn't said a single thing to her about how offended I was that they wanted me to sort through the clothes until today.  I matter-of-factly told her that I was not going to dig through the clothes.  I told her that I thought it was pretty insensitive that they asked me, the person who was having trouble getting pregnant, to sort through the baby clothes that were given to me, and pick out the "cute stuff" to send to my sister.  She didn't really say much in response and then just said that she guessed she wouldn't have time to be able to get the clothes.

A big part of me feels really terrible and guilty that I'm not down in my basement digging through all of the little cute baby clothes to give them to my sister.  It's the most practical solution and it makes sense.  I WANT to do it.  I just don't think I CAN.

At this point, I HOPE they come and take all the clothes away and I never see any of it again.

Post Op Appointment

I went to my post-op appointment today.  My doctor was very impressed with my quick healing and said that I could gradually return to exercising (but no ab workouts... understandably).  The incisions were pretty small and I don't think the scars will be bad, not that I'm really that concerned.

Teeny Tiny Incisions

I actually think it's pretty weird that I'm posting a picture of my abdomen, but I figured that I took the picture, so I might as well put it somewhere.  I added the arrows because the incisions really are that small.

At the appointment, my doctor showed me pictures that she took during the surgery that showed the endometriosis.  It looks like tiny specks, some dark and some clear, on my insides.  She said that she could tell that I have had endometriosis for a long time and was really surprised that I hadn't complained about it to my OBGYN before because apparently it's pretty painful.  Endometriosis, like cancer has stages.  If it hadn't been for the endometrioma, she would have said by the looks of it that I was a "Stage 1," but she puts me at a "Stage 2" because of it.  She told me about a patient of hers that had stage 4 Endometriosis and still was able to get pregnant, but it was through IVF, so there is definitely hope for me at only a stage 1-2.

Cool little purple case!

I had a lot of questions about the Clomid and whether or not it caused my insides to go crazy and produce this gigantor chocolate cyst inside of me.  My doctor told me that the size of it was way too big to have just started when I took the Clomid.  She said that it was probably in the works for at least a year.  She was actually surprised that I hadn't reported feeling pain earlier.

The very good news is that she was able to tell me pretty definitively that this was why I was not getting pregnant.  Whew!  Once we take care of it then things should start working as they are designed to.  The short term treatment is actually birth control, which is weird, but after a lesson on the body's hormones, I am a believer.  I've never actually taken birth control pills, so I am pretty enamored with the cool little case that they come in.  I'll be taking them for a little while, but I am pretty excited because an end (or a I guess a beginning) is in sight.

One random thing that made me happy was realizing my doctor (who I absolutely love) is totally OCD detail-oriented like myself.  While she was typing my follow-up and patient instructions during the appointment, she told me that she hated Times New Roman (me too!).  She went back and made sure that everything in the instructions was the same font and the same size.  I have also noticed that my incisions from the surgery are symmetrical.  I thought this was standard practice, but after looking at some photos online, I found out that it's not.  SO thankful for a doctor that makes me symmetrical AND is a font snob. :)

I've never really connected with a doctor before, but then again I haven't really gone to the doctor regularly at any time in my life.  I have really connected with my doctor and nurses this time.  As I walked into the office, all of the nurses and my doctor knew my first name.  They told me how they were very pleased with my surgery results and how my doctor had talked with them about it.

As I left this time, my nurse expressed optimism that the next time she saw me I would be pregnant.  My doctor said that my little sister, Kate, who she met before my surgery might as well start calling herself an aunt because she is just that sure that she can help get me pregnant! :)

Liza is a "Ghana!"

So my little sis, Liza decided that she wanted to study abroad for a semester in Ghana.  Yep!  She's pretty crazy and likes to do things that are cool and adventuresome unlike me who like to be safe and boring and not infected with malaria.  I kept on forgetting which country in Africa she was going to until my dad exclaimed, "Liza is going to be a Ghana (goner)!"  Yeah, so that's where my post title comes from.

In the car we talked about cultural differences between Ghana and the United States.  Apparently giving something similar the thumbs up sign is pretty crude and basically means, "Your mother is a prostitute."  Also, waving to someone the way we do in the US means that you want someone to come over to you.  When you go anywhere, you basically need to greet everyone or you will seem rude.  I found this pretty cool site today called Cultural Crossing.  It's pretty cool because it tells you how you should act in different countries.  It's interesting to read and probably really helpful if you're an international traveler.

Liza and Johnny heading up to ticketing at Dulles Airport.

We took her to the airport this morning to catch a flight there.  She will be in the country of Ghana going to a University there for the next five months and will be returning all "culturated" in December.  They told her that she would be living in a hostel with minimal furniture and that's basically all she knows about where she is living.  That would totally freak me out.  I'm totally imagining a huge room full of squeaky bunk beds, no air conditioning, and scary bathroom facilities.  For her sake, I'm hoping it's actually better than that.

Couldn't get the darn machine to scan her passport, so we had to go to the desk.

 And what do you think said sister is majoring in that she is going all the way to Ghana to study???

...International Relations? Nope.

...a Foreign Language? Nope.

...International Business? Nope.

Mom and Liza laughing at Johnny before she went to security.

 
Give up?  Yeah, well you wouldn't have guessed it anyway.  She's studying ...theater!  Yep, that's it.  My sister is going to learn about theater . . in . . Ghana.  I'm just being mean about it because I'm jealous.

I told her as I hugged her goodbye that my goal was to be knocked up by the time she was home.  She laughed and told me her goal was NOT to be knocked up.

Have fun Liza!  Don't catch malaria!

Taylor Swift Concert

Last night, I went to my FIRST concert, Taylor Swift: Speak Now.  A friend from work got some free tickets through her husband's work and was looking for some company.  Both nights were sold out with over 13 thousand fans packed into the Verizon Center in DC.  I have to say it was pretty dang amazing!  I like Taylor Swift's music and I'm familiar with her big hits that are played a lot on the radio, but I'm not like a crazy fan or anything.

The SWEET Suite

The cool thing about the tickets were that they were suite tickets meaning we had a SUITE that we watched the concert from.  Having never been to a concert, I had no clue what to expect, but I'm pretty sure this was NOT your average concert experience.  When we arrived at the suite which fit about 20 people but had about 12 in it, we were welcome by an attendant who checked our tickets and took us on a mini tour of the suite.  Inside, they had tons of food and basically unlimited drinks.  The suite had it's own super nice and CLEAN bathroom which I was pretty thankful for after seeing the long lines on our way up.

The concert started with a young, talented singer named Hunter Hayes and then a really good band called Need to Breathe.  They were both really talented, but their shows dulled in comparison to the performance by Taylor Swift afterward.  She puts on a really good show!  Part of the entertainment value of the concert was seeing all of the crazy fans.  At the Metro on the way there and back, we could easily spot the people going to the concert.  Most of the fans were wearing sundresses with cowboy boots, self-made Taylor Swift t-shirts, the number 13 somewhere, or something sparkly.  It was quite the crowd.  Many of them had lighted signs and glow sticks.

 

I didn't understand a lot of the fan lingo, so I did a little research on her fan website to figure out some of it. Apparently, 13 is Taylor Swift's lucky number and he writes it on her hand before her concerts.  On her left arm, she also writes lyrics from other musicians that inspire her.  I thought it was interesting that she writes all of her own music.  She kind of has some funny mannerisms, but overall she seems like a nice person.  The show was pretty neat.  I was trying to get some close up shots with my camera that seemed pretty good on my little camera screen, but pretty grainy when I looked at them on my computer.  Darn!  I wish I would've taken more far away shots like the one above.  The screen behind the stage had some pretty cool effects going on.

Here's a picture of me with my two teacher friends, Caitlin and Laura.

There were tons of young girls there that seems to ABSOLUTELY adore her.  I think that she does an okay job as a role model to them.  I don't know all of the juicy gossip, but she seemed almost overly cutesy nice at the show AND the kids just ate her up.  Her lyrics seem very personal, real, and seemed to be aimed for a wide age spread of an audience, but mostly for preteen/teen girls.  It was a lot of fun and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go!

Oh, and a teeny tiny update as far as surgery recovery: I'm completely off pain meds, feeling clear minded, and overall much better.  I'm still waiting for my energy to come back, but for the most part I'm feeling good.

A Week of Recovery

So... recovery has been a roller coaster ride, but MUCH MUCH MUCH less exciting than an actual roller coaster ride.  I guess I should just say that there have definitely been good days and bad days.  The morning after surgery was one of my better good days, so I'm glad I was able to update you all so quickly afterward.

Tuesday was basically a blur.  I mostly remember writing my blog post and then posting it on Facebook.  Then, I remember sleeping A LOT. And that is really all. :)

Yummy home-cooked meal

On Wednesday, my good friend Caitlin picked me up and let me join her for her errands of the day so I wouldn't be stuck at home.  She even brought me chocolate milk in the morning!  She made me feel like I was helping her move into her new house when in reality, I was probably sitting on her couch drooling while she moved and packed boxes.  Well, maybe not that bad, but I was pretty out of it.  My BRAND NEW visiting teaching companion from church who JUST moved into the ward made me the dinner to the right on Wednesday.  It was beautiful!  I seriously started crying in the middle of the prayer while blessing the food.  I can't believe that she barely knows me and was willing to cook up quite the meal for Doug and I! 

Yay for color-coded schedules!

On Thursday, I got to go to a meeting at work to help with making the master schedule for all of the teachers in the building.  I woke up feeling pretty awful that morning, but I was determined to go.  I had been wanting to help with the scheduling since I started working there, so I was going drugged or not.  My friend Caitlin was my designated driver once again.  Surprisingly, I was able to help, not by actually creating the schedule, but by putting it into an organized, clear, and easy-to-read format that was colored-coded.  I was worried for a while that everyone there was just trying to make me FEEL like I was being helpful when I was really just sitting there playing and color-coding things on the computer in la-la land.  Haha!  :)  My little chart ACTUALLY did end up helping and was able to keep teachers from getting doubled booked or having weird 15 minute breaks in between specialty classes.  I LOVE using Microsoft Word to create tables and organize information.  I know that this is probably a weird talent, but it really does come in handy.  I think I only slightly offended one person by my drugged behavior, but I'm pretty sure others at the meeting found it rather entertaining.  It turns out I'm still an anal perfectionist on drugs. :)

On Friday, Doug and I went to the new Cobb movie theater nearby and watched the movie, Captain America.  We both really enjoyed it.  As we were leaving the theater, there was this group of boys that were horsing around right in front of us on the sidewalk.  I smiled a little and the dad that was supervising the group of boys started to turn around and apologize, but then said, "Hey, I thought you looked familiar!  It's Mrs. S-!  THIS is how they act when you're NOT around.  I'm sure you had to have had one of these troublemakers in your class this last school year."  One of the boys turned around and smiled and ran up to me giving me a big hug.  I hugged him back and (hopefully) smiled, but to my horror I had NO CLUE what the kid's name was... only that he looked vaguely familiar.  He ran back to his friends to continue horsing around and we waved goodbye to the group and continued on our way.

I then had a FREAK OUT moment.  One thing you need to know about me as a teacher is that I love my students as if they were my own children.  I DO NOT FORGET NAMES!!!  I stood there and dug through my brain trying to remember his name... even one name.  I couldn't remember a single name of a single student that I had taught EVER.  In fact I couldn't remember a single thing from teaching except that I knew I was a teacher.  I took out my iPad and started searching my address book that had my parent list from this past year.  Luckily I found it quickly and it all started to come back.  I had been feeling okay at the theater, but I really hadn't realized what an impact the Percocet had been having on me.

Even as I write this blog post about my last week it's weird to think that it hasn't been that long since I last posted.  The thing that I noticed the most about being on the Percocet is that it really messed with my sense of time.  It seriously feels like I had surgery FOREVER ago.  When I was with my friend on Wednesday, only two days after my surgery I remember telling her to let me do stuff because I needed to heal SOMETIME.  She kept on reminding me, "Jen, you JUST had surgery!"  I still feel really frustrated that I'm not better yet because it feels like so much time has passed.

One thing I've learned from this whole experience is that I HATE narcotic painkillers.  I took what I hope was my last dose Saturday evening.  I still have more than half the prescription left, but I seriously don't want to take even one more pill.  The last pill I took on Saturday made me really nauseous.  It's a good thing I still had a plastic baggy in my purse from the hospital or I would have been cleaning puke out of my car.

I told Doug last night that I was feeling 65% of the way there.  By teacher standards, that's still a D, but it's more than halfway to the 100% mark.   I can't wait to feel good again!

Illness and injury sure do make you feel grateful for the times when you're healthy.

I'm Alive!

First off, I want to thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes.  This was a pretty scary experience for me and it was comforting to know that I had so much support from friends and family.  You'll also have to forgive me of the typos that will exist throughout this post because I am on Percocet.

As you can probably tell by me updating my blog, I am doing well.  I'm pretty dang sore and I'm walking around like a grandma lady, but I made it!  I seriously never thought that I would be so happy to find out that I have endometriosis.  Yep, that's right!  NO CANCER!!

So now that you know the news, you don't have to read the rest, but you can if you like.  My bonky brain never remembers anything so I need to record it all.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 5am with Doug and couldn't get back to bed.  I gave him like 5 billion hugs and kisses and just watched him drive his car down our street.  After he was gone, I was in complete busy-body mode.  I made sure that his lunches were packed for this week, that all laundry was done and put away, and that my house was somewhat presentable in case someone would be coming to help. I didn't know how I would feel after my surgery and I wanted to make sure that everything was ready.  I had actually stopped taking my pain medication on Saturday because I hated the way it made my brain feel and the pain had subsided somewhat on my right side.  I was rather productive.

First picture once I finally got in the gown.

Kate took me to the hospital.  The hospital has valet parking at the entrance we were going to, so it was nice to not have to walk far.  She was really concerned trading in the keys to my dad's car for a little piece of paper.  We got there more than 30 minutes early, so I was really surprised to wait less than 5 minutes before they had me registered and wearing a bracelet. I sure do love souvenirs! :) 

When I showed up at the next desk, they looked at my paperwork and had us sit down.  I thought that we were going to be there for a while, but before even 5 minutes had passed, they were already calling me back.  I kind of felt bad for Kate because she brought a bunch of stuff to keep herself busy during my surgery and just as she got comfortable they would move us to another room and she would have to gather all of her things again.

So, I got into a hospital gown (Those things sure are airy!) and socks.  It took me forever to get into it because  I couldn't figure out all of the ties in the back and I was trying hard not to moon anyone.  I had just barely gotten into my gown and was sitting on my bed talking to Kate when DOUG SHOWED UP!!!!!  Doug had just changed jobs and had zero days of sick leave or vacation, but they let him leave early because he had been working a lot of overtime.  I wasn't sure if I was going to see him at all.

So funny side story... when Doug got there they had a hard time locating me.  The nurse was bringing him around and after checking different numbers she said, "Here's your wife!" and flung open a curtain that had a big black woman behind it.  Doug was kind of like, "Um, that's not my wife."  So they continued to walk around and he finally spotted my purse underneath the curtain and was able to join Kate and I.

My IV

Doug had to leave the room not too long afterward because they had to put in my IV.  (He seriously almost passed out in the hallway just listening to us talk about it through the curtain.)  The nurse started having me pump my fist to show her a vein for the IV.  I have had two IV's before.  The first one was when I got my wisdom teeth out and that was on my left arm in the crook of my elbow.  The second IV, I had just gotten with my MRI on Friday in the crook of my right elbow.  I assumed it would be in one of those two places, but the nurse gave me the bad news that they would be moving me around a lot during my surgery and that it would need to be in my hand.  She told me that I had a great vein and used a little needle to numb the surface, then she put in the IV.  It wasn't bad at all.  Something I learned through this whole experience is that there is actually no needle in an IV.  I had been scared to move my arm, but my nurse showed me that the needle was only being used to put this long thin tube in my vein.  Weird!

We waited around for a while and Kate and I watched some little show on her iPad that was making us laugh pretty hard.  (I really needed it!)  Doug made me a turkey out of a blown up glove that I could hold onto.  I met and talked to my anesthesiologist and signed more papers.  The anesthesiologist turned up the drip on my IV because she was worried about me being hydrated enough.  It made my arm really cold, so they got me more heated blankets.

Me with my blown-up turkey glove before surgery.

Finally, my doctor came in and talked to Doug, Kate, and I.  My final MRI reports had come back and they showed that my body was reacting very badly to whatever the growth was and that she very glad it was coming out today.  She still was hoping for a chocolate cyst, but told me that an oncologist surgeon would be next door just in case the surgery got tough.  I was pretty scared that I actually had cancer whenever she started talking about how my insides were reacting.  I remember picking at my gown nervously the whole time she was talking.

Not too long after, the anesthesiologist nurse came and gave me my first dose of the good stuff.  They said that I wouldn't remember anything, but I'm pretty sure I remember most of it.  I remember when I could first feel it kicking in and I remember them putting up the sides of my bed.  They wheeled me into the operating room and there were a lot of different instruments everywhere with bright lights and lots of people.

The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery.  My doctor gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me that she was able to keep both of my ovaries and that it was endometriosis.  For the next while I remember drifting in and out and being in A LOT of pain.  My mouth was really dry, my throat was sore because they had needed to put a tube in it, and my abdomen just felt awful.  A nurse asked me if I wanted ice chips, but I told her I didn't.

I woke up again I don't know how much later and decided that I really needed ice chips.  My nurse had left and I was saying as loud as I could, "Please, ice chips" over and over until someone came over and checked my chart and gave me some.  Once again, I'm not sure of the time frame.  They wheeled me into the last recovery room and let Doug in.  I started crying as soon as I saw him.  He said to the nurse, "Uh oh, I made her cry maybe I shouldn't be here."  But I told him I was crying because I was happy he was here.  I was feeling pretty nauseous from the anesthesia so they gave me some stuff in my IV to help.

This picture was taken AFTER my color was better.

I have to admit I was probably not a very nice person in this recovery room.  They gave me one Percocet and the nurse asked me how much I hurt on a scale from 1-10.  I told her a 7 and half.  I kept on telling her that the medicine wasn't working and that when my dad took medicine it didn't work for him either.  She told me that it probably didn't have enough time to kick in yet, but after I was still in a lot of pain, she gave another one.  I kept on apologizing saying that I was sorry I was being so mean and that I really was a nice person.  I kept on telling Doug, "I hate this.  I hate this.  I hate this.  It hurts so much.  I never want to get surgery again."  He told me that this is what they needed to do so I could have babies.  He said it was the first time I smiled.

Doug gave me my phone and I'm pretty sure I texted a few people.  My doctor came back and talked to Doug outside of my room.  She then came back and said, "Who has TWO ovaries?!" with her fingers up and a big smile on her face.  She said, "YOU DO!" and started doing a little dance.  My doctor said that removing the cyst was very challenging, but it was like peeling an onion.  Doug was very impressed with her (He is not easily impressed.) and said that she was a very skilled surgeon. She showed me a picture of the surgery, but told me that she would talk to me about it more in depth at our post op appointment when I would remember better.  She told me that I had probably had endometriosis for a long time and that there were a lot of little specks in my abdominal cavity.  Doug said it was mostly on my kidney.  My doctor also told me that I apparently have some killer stomach muscles that were getting in the way and she had to have two different nurses holding them back the whole time because they were so tight.  She said that she was glad I didn't work out more. :)

Doug said that the surgery took 2 hours (only a half an hour longer than they were anticipating).  I was in a recovery room for two hours where they would not let him see me and then I was in my last room with him for another two hours before they wheeled me out to our car.  Unfortunately, Doug left my iPad at the hospital, so hopefully he remembers to pick it up today after work.  He took me straight home and we called some family members through the blue tooth on his car.  I also remember talking to my sister on the phone at home.

Getting up and down is quite the pain, but I got used to it last night when I had to get up about 8 different times to pee.  Besides a lot of random bruising on my body and three band-aids on my abdomen, I think I am recovering just fine.  I will be hanging out here at home for the next week or so thanking my lucky stars that I don't have cancer.

Day Before Surgery

Last night Doug and I went to my parents' place for dinner.  I finally watched the first part of the big Harry Potter movie, so I will understand what is going on when I go to see the last one.  We celebrated Shelly's 17th birthday.  Her actual birthday will be on the day of my surgery. (Way to ruin all the fun, Jenny!)

Shelly getting ready to blow out her candles.

It was admittedly a lot less eventful than her 15th birthday when we had the cops called on us.  This year, we had a full house with Heather and her four kids from Virginia Beach, my parents and their two kids still at home, plus Liza from college, plus Doug and I.  My dad smoked some really tasty ribs.  After all of the birthday festivities, Doug and my dad gave me a blessing to help prepare me for my surgery.  I guess I'm ready now.

My diet until midnight tonight.

This morning I started my liquid diet.  My doctor had me drink this stuff called Magnesium Citrate.  Drinking it was pretty terrible as well as the after effects which I will spare you.  I started with water this morning and graduated to chicken broth.   I actually like the broth a lot.  I went ahead and ate JELLO for lunch.  Hopefully that is not forbidden.  I never thought I would be so excited to eat JELLO! :) 

Doctor told me to skip church today because of the unpleasant after effects of the magnesium citrate.  I'm really bored and I can't really do much, so I'm trying to stay busy by leaving you all with an update.

My surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 1:30pm.  I check at 11:30am to get registered and everything.  Kate will be driving me, so hopefully we actually make it to the hospital. Haha... Sorry Kate, but you need to start using your blinkers!

Next time you hear from me, I'll have a few new scars. :)

Pre-Op Appointments

So today I had a few doctors appointments to get ready for the big day on Monday.  I haven't been able to drive because of my pain meds, so my sister Heather who is in town from Virginia Beach, was my DD (designated driver) today.

First stop this morning was to get an MRI done of my abdominal area for better picture of "Goliath."  Right now it's measuring at about 8 cm by 6 cm (a little bigger than the size of a kiwi fruit).  A standard ovary is usually the size of an olive.  The strip of pictures below are from my MRI.  I asked for a picture and they gave me a CD full of them.  Of course, I don't really know how to read these, but my doctor went over them with me a little.  Everything in these images is flipped, but you can see "Goliath" in most of these.  It's the big white thing.  You can also see my poor left ovary and how tiny in comparison it is.

Back in high school, I got an MRI because I was complaining of shin splints.  I'm not sure why I even got one because they just told me to stop marching so much.  Anyways, that was not bad at all.  They strapped my leg down, gave me ear plugs and I just sort of hung out for a while while the machine did its banging thing.

Today was completely different.  I had to change into hospital clothes and get an IV put in.  When I got on the table, they had me lift my arms above my head and put a cage over my abdomen.  I got ear plugs and they covered me with a blanket to keep me warm.  The table started sliding into the machine and then it stopped so the lower half of my body was in the really narrow part and my head was in the less narrow part.  I thought, "Oh this won't be bad."  I assumed that I was going to stay this far in because it wasn't like my head was getting scanned.

Then I started sliding in further until my head was in and THEN my elbows which were sticking up slightly because the arms were above my head were scraping on the top of the machine.  I had to close my eyes because I had a little freak out moment.  I'm not even claustrophobic.  The top of the machine was only about 4-6 inches away from my face and my elbows were uncomfortably touching the top of the machine.  No part of my body was outside of this narrow tube.  I was instructed to stay this way without moving for...

 25 minutes!!!

I don't think I had mentally prepared myself for this.  I really figured that my head wouldn't have to go inside because it wasn't getting scanned.  The machine knocked and banged for quite some time and all I could do was sit there and focus on my breathing.  After what seemed like forever, I heard a speaker come on and a woman asked how I was doing.  She told me that I may feel something cold in my arm because they were going to inject the dye.  She told me I was about done and it would only be about three more minutes.

I felt the cold dye coming into my arm and got this metallic taste in my mouth.  I think I could smell it too, but I'm not sure.  I started counting VERY slowly to sixty three different times to get myself to the end of it.  It actually ended up being more like 6 minutes before she started moving me out of the tube.  They removed my IV which didn't have any ink color in it, so I'm not sure what color it was.  I didn't ask, but I wondered if my pee was going to be blue. (it didn't)

My next appointment was with a nurse from the hospital that gave me my schedule and did a surgical interview over the phone.  It only took about 15-20 minutes with a lot of questions about medical history that I was luckily able to say no to.

My sister and I then took an extended lunch at Panera Bread.  We sat and talked for probably three hours.  I love having sisters because you can basically talk about anything for any amount of time and not feel bored at all.  I was really worried about all of the extra time that we had before next appointment and I guess I didn't need to be.

My last appointment was with my gynecologist who is going to be doing the surgery on Monday.  She is really an amazing doctor and I'm really glad that she's taking care of me.  She said that all of the blood work and the MRI that I was able to get really helped her feel better about the mass.  She had initially been so concerned that she booked my surgery in an inpatient room next to where the cancer doctor operates.  Eek!  (It's still there just in case.)

So they did a whole work up from the blood I had drawn on Tuesday, but she really only explained the CA-125 test out of like 15 different tests that were done.  An elevated level (<35) on this test is a possible sign of ovarian cancer.  My levels were only very slightly elevated at 36.79.  She wasn't too concerned because a slightly elevated CA-125 level supported a new theory of hers.  She think that my tumor may actually be what is known as a chocolate cyst which you can get when you have endometriosis.

The GOOD news is that women with endometriosis can get pregnant!  So, I may not be a hopeless cause after all. :)  She said if that is the case, we will talk about it more in detail at my post op appointment.

We're still not sure EXACTLY what the mass is, but we'll know by Monday at 1:30pm when I'm on the surgical table.  She going to try to do it all laparoscopically, but she may have to make a bigger incision if there are issues.  She's really going to try to keep my ovary if possible.  One weird part is that they're going to be filling my abdomen with carbon dioxide so she'll be able to navigate easier!  Now my image of me on the operating table includes me being blown up like a balloon!  If there are no issues and she can do it all laparoscopically, I'll be able to leave that night.  If she has to make a bigger incision for any reason at all, I'll probably be staying the night and leaving whenever I'm released.

I'll be on a clear liquid diet (water, chicken broth, apple juice, clear jello, etc) starting Sunday and I'll need to drink some pretty awful stuff that will basically clear me out, so my bowels are completely out of the way for surgery.  My doctor said that the operating table would be slanted so my head would be facing down and my feet up.  This will make it so that my internal organs get out of the way and won't get nicked during the surgery. 

I'm a little nervous because she said I will be in A LOT of pain afterward.  When I asked her how it would compare to the pain that I was currently feeling, she said that what I was feeling was a "dull ache" compared to what I would be feeling.  She said that I would hate her the day afterward and want to throw darts at her picture.  She prescribed even stronger painkillers for me to use after the surgery.

So I know that basically all sounds terrible, but I feel better.  I just like being informed... and now you are too!  Please keep the prayers coming my way!