Potty Training/Transition to a "Big Girl" Bed

A few weeks ago, I got an email from Babycenter about potty training your toddler in three days. The potty training expert said that she preferred to use her method on those 15-28 months because they can become resistant to potty training later on. Crap! (counting up in my head) Leah was going to be 29 months on September 10th. So I decided to start right then.

I woke Leah up that morning and exclaimed to her, "It's naked day!" We played together ALL day long! I didn't leave her side. (Yeah.. not the norm AT ALL.) She would start jumping up and down when she needed to go and say, "Potty!" urgently and then I would sit her on the potty and she would go. It was as easy as that! We had dinner with some friends that evening and were going out, so the diaper went back on.

The second day, I woke her up the same way and she was admittedly less excited about naked day, but I wasn't really giving her a choice. We played inside, we played outside (within the confines of the walls of our villa)... she was doing great!

BUT, I was there at her side every single moment. By the third day, we were both itching to get out of the villa, so I put a dress on her and introduced panties. She picked out some Elmo ones and I just emphasized with her that panties are not a diaper and that she would still need to use the potty. The next day there were several accidents. All of the floors in our villa are hard-surfaced, so it wasn't really a big deal. I kept on enforcing it and reminding her that she had panties on.

Everything was going pretty well and then I landed my surprise job at Friends Nursery. She had only been potty training for 6 days when we both starting going to school for four hours a day. She ended up back in diapers during school and in panties while at home. We did that for about 2 weeks and then had 3 days off of work/school for Eid, a holiday is Islam. I took the opportunity to only do panties the whole time and there were several accidents, but she finally REALLY started to get it. Each accident in her panties reinforced the idea that she needed to start using the potty.

When we started back at school on Sunday this week, I decided that she was ready and sent her to school in panties. The first day, she had an accident, but she has done great days 2-4. She doesn't like to go potty at school and just holds it until we get home... which isn't ideal, but I guess it's working for now.

A couple nights ago, Leah woke me up at midnight and asked to go potty. After going potty, she asked if she could wear panties for the rest of the night and I obliged. When we woke up the next morning, I made the quick decision to convert her crib to a toddler bed. She had a blast jumping in her "new" bed and filling it with toys and stuffed animals.

We went to school that day and when we came back home is was nap time. I was a little nervous that she wouldn't nap, but I just explained to her that she had to stay in her bed during nap time and then I closed the door and posted myself nearby to catch any shenanigans. This is what I found when I snuck in to check on her 30 minutes later.

When she woke up from nap, she wouldn't get out of the bed until I was in there. Last night, I put her to bed as I usually did with the only difference that I told her that she needed to stay in her bed. I heard no complaints and I went to bed as usual. Doug and I stayed up a while longer, but no noises came from her room, so we just went to bed. I woke up around midnight after having the realization that she could work all of the doors in the house and there was nothing keeping her from just waking up and leaving in the middle of the night. She's only every left the villa once without my permission and she was only about 2 feet away, but I still felt a moment of panic.

I was awake in an instant and went to her room to check on her. I quietly and slowly opened the door only to discover her in EXACTLY the same position that I had placed her in to go to bed that night. She was sleeping happily and peacefully.

My little girl is growing up so fast! I took pictures of my class to use for attendance and labeling and such. Here is Leah's... I love her so!

Learned Some Arabic

Today, I was teaching letter sounds in a small group of 3 year olds. We were sitting on floor all gathered around a pocket puppet chart and I was picking up different animals and saying their names emphasizing the first letter sounds as I placed them in the correct pocket. After filling several pockets, I picked up a lion and said, "La la LION... la la la la la." The kids who had been joyfully playing along and holding different puppet animals all dropped their puppets, stopped what they were doing, and looked at me like I was disciplining them. In confusion, I looked back to the other teacher in the room who was laughing at me.

"La" means "No" in Arabic.

My First Week of Work

Today marks exactly a week that I have been back to work. It's been full of ups and downs, but unfortunately it seems like mostly downs. Leah has had difficulty transitioning. I'm not sure if it is more than usual or if I am just feeling serious Mommy Guilt. She is fine about 5 minutes after I am out of the room, but there are meltdowns each time I leave or if I am seen while at school.

I spend half of the day in the 2-3 year old class with Leah, Miss Jane, and our helper. The other half of the day, I am in Miss Lina's 3-4 year old class. I take a break between... I thought it was 30 minutes, but then I found out that everyone else only gets a 15 minute break...  so now I'm a little confused. Let me explain...

Unfortunately racism is pretty rampant here. I expected to encounter lots of diversity, but the racism was definitely a surprise. :/ Here in Abu Dhabi, your salary, your breaks, your job, etc.. all has to do with your nationality. So far as I can tell you're set if you're Arab, American, or European. Labor jobs are usually done by Indians and service jobs like nursing and cleaning are usually done by Filipinos. I'm still trying to figure out where Africans and Asians fit into the "pecking order," but I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of education obtained.

Wednesday last week was my second day of work. Miss Majdah hired me as the 2-3 year old teacher. The problem was - that I could CLEARLY see - is that there already was a 2-3 year old teacher, Miss Jane from Kenya. I was very concerned, so I asked another person at the nursery in private if Miss Jane was going to lose her job and she assured me that she would not. (Whew!) This person also told me (as nicely as possible) that a big reason I was hired was because I was an American and it is good business for a nursery to be able to say that they have "native English speakers." I've heard that parents here will sign up their kid for a nursery if they see an American (white person) there.

Yep! That's me they're talking about - Native English Teachers. This flyer went out yesterday.

I've been watching (all two days of my employment) trying to learn how the nursery works. I asked Miss Majdah when she would like to have me start writing plans. She said I should start for next week... and plans are due on Thursday, so that meant I'd be writing my first lesson plans during nap time that day.

My first shot at lesson planning for preschool. (Lots of Pinteresting going on!)

Thursday (the start of the weekend here) was interesting.  I had emailed my plans to Miss Majdah prior to coming in and continued to observe and help as I usually do waiting for feedback from her. At one point, I was helping gather the kids in for the 2-3 year old class and I asked Miss Jane, "Is this kid in our class?" She responded, "No, she isn't in MY class." Uhhhh... okay. Then during my break, Miss Majdah hollered up and said that my plans were good and that I would start teaching the 2-3 year old class next week, Oooookay! So it's the afternoon and Leah and I are getting ready to head out when the class newsletters that are sent home each week are dropped off in the room. I scan the newsletter quickly and see that I am introduced and my name is at the top as the teacher. Miss Jane is in the room with me at the time and takes the chance to glance over it as well. She stopped DEAD in her tracks and just sadly stared at the paper in complete shock with my name at the top. I guess no one told her of the change. I felt SO terrible and it was incredibly awkward. During the rest of my time there, I tried to apologize and also to show that I had experience teaching and that I wasn't just some "token American" placement in the school... that I have a teaching degree. It was terrible.

As I was leaving, Miss Majdah comes to me and decides that this is the time to critique my plans. I stopped and listened, welcoming any bit of constructive criticism. I am an elementary school teacher and not a preschool teacher and I am just trying to meet expectations. Her criticism... "You need MORE." Uh, more what? I tried to get clarification, but Leah was pulling on my arm to leave and we had somewhere to go. This working mom thing is going to take some adjusting.

Sunday was my first official day teaching. The whole week prior I had started off the mornings in the older class because the younger class was in Arabic, so I had been planning to have a little prep time during my 30 minute break. Upon arrival Lina explains to me that I will be STARTING the day teaching because they are now going to be alternating days for who has Arabic in morning. I freaked out a little because I wasn't ready. Lina reassured me that everything would be okay and that she would help me cut out what I needed. Then Leah decides to have a HUGE meltdown. She refuses to walk. She is sobbing. I am nervous about teaching a lesson that isn't even ready. It was ugly.

Luckily, this is preschool, the kids don't even understand how school works, and the 2-3 year old class has just as much experience with preschool as Leah and I do. Jane helped me fly by the seat of my pants until we could get things together and it worked. Communication is still very difficult. Leah is the only native English speaker in the whole school. The rest of the students speak Arabic at home. You can't give the kids even the most simple directions because they don't understand you. On top of that they're still learning the game of school - sitting on the carpet for circle time, standing in a line, taking turns - all of it is brand new to them.

Each day has gotten slightly better. I am lucky that the staff so far has been incredibly helpful and nice to me...even though I feel like such an overprivileged American jerk sometimes. I come in and take someone's job. I work 3-4 less hours than everyone. I am probably paid about the same if not more. I get a longer break. I work, not to provide or pay bills, but because I am bored and I want my toddler to be able to socialize with other kids. The list is incriminating.

One of the classroom helpers, a single Filipino mom has a 3 and a 4 year old at home in the Philippines that she hasn't seen in person in more than 2 years that her mother takes care of. She sees them on Skype. The other teacher, Lina, is from Palestine and grew up in the war-torn West Bank and Gaza Strip. She has sons back home in Palestine and lives and works in Abu Dhabi because it is too difficult to find employment back home. I am slowly getting to know everyone and I am interested to learn about different perspectives of the world.

Personally, I am finding it difficult to get back into the groove of working with the addition of being a mom as well. When I taught before, my time away from work was my own. Now, I don't really have "my time" anymore... not that I really have so much as a stay at home mom, but now it just seems like less. I also need to somehow fit in cooking dinner each night, doing laundry, and the general cleaning of the house. We'll get there... at least I'm not bored, right?

So I can end on a positive note... Leah and I were invited by a friend at church to tea on the observation deck of Etihad Towers which is the highest point in Abu Dhabi. We had a great time and it was nice to be able to do a little touristy stuff even though I am working.

Surprise Return to the Workforce

We've been living in Abu Dhabi now almost two months and I have been feeling a little isolated and bored without a car. I guess I never really appreciated having my own back back in the states. Leah and I were accustomed to going to some sort of playgroup or library 2-3 times a week and here we are in the middle of the desert in Abu Dhabi with no car and no friends. Taxis are pretty inexpensive here, but it is still expensive when you are paying EVERY time you want to go out. We went to visit a friend from church in the neighboring Khalifa City A and it was about 20 USD one way.

Leah and I would go swimming several times a week in the pool in our compound of 50 villas, but there were no other children here. The only exposure Leah had with other children was each Friday (the Sabbath is on Fridays in the United Arab Emirates) and about two play dates. I realized that Leah was starting to feel very lonely as well whenever we went to someone's villa to check out a yard sale item and she had an absolute melt down after we made her leave... There was another little girl around the same age and they had been playing together for about the 10-15 minutes.

Both Mommy and Leah needed friends and socialization STAT!

I was having a particularly rough day on Sunday and I told Doug that evening that I REALLY wanted him to buy me a car and that I was unhappy here without one. It wasn't a pretty discussion.

The next day during nap time I saw a posting for a preschool job on the Abu Dhabi yard sale group that I frequent. When I mapped out the location, it was too far away to commute to. At that point, I decided to do a search for nurseries near where we lived and Friends Nursery popped up in results. 

On a whim, I decided to call and see if they had any part time openings. I explained that I had seven years of elementary school teaching experience and a two year old daughter that I would be interested in enrolling the days that I worked as well. I was transferred to the director and asked if I was available to come in the next morning at 9am and I agreed that I would. That evening, I pushed Leah in the stroller and it only took 5 minutes from doorstep to doorstep... the only catch is that we need to walk through a very dirty and sandy alleyway.

The next morning Leah and I woke up and got there right on time. The receptionist welcomed me in and I met with Majdah, the director, for an interview. What I had in mind, was that I would work 3 days a week as some sort of classroom assistant or clerical worker. Majdah was pretty pretty up front with me in the beginning saying that it is illegal (or something like that) in the UAE to hire someone part time. She said that I could work "full time" 8:30a-12:30p, but that it would need to be five days a week. (The work week here is Sunday thru Thursday.) 

Then after only about 10 minutes of talking to me, she offered me a competitive monthly salary with a 50% discount in tuition for Leah. The offer seemed pretty decent, but we had already purchased tickets to go home over Christmas break for over a month and I would be absent for part of the term. Majdah said that those dates would be fine and that I just shouldn't expect pay during my absences.

She then took my on a tour of the nursery while Leah happily played in the front room with the toys there. We were there for a little under 2 hours and I left telling Majdah that I would get back to her that evening with whether or not I was going to accept the job offer after talking to my husband. 

The only paperwork I would need was a "Certificate of Good Conduct" and my diploma needed to be attested. She had mentioned during the interview that I could take of getting my diploma attested while I was home for Christmas. 

I was feeling pretty good about everything and talking to Doug was only a formality anyways since I knew he would be fine with me working if I wanted to work... so I asked one more question.

     "About when would you like me to start?"

     Tomorrow.

     Uh... Okay! (Wow!!)

So I went from "unemployed" stay at home mom kind of thinking about maybe looking for a part time job on Sunday to I'm-accepting-a-full-time-job-offer on Monday to STARTING WORK on Tuesday. It all was pretty overwhelming.

I didn't sleep much Monday night. I woke up and started researching British Early Years and Montessori because the director is very passionate about Montessori. I then realized that it was also my sweet Leah's first day of preschool tomorrow, so of course I had to still fulfill my mommy obligations of "Pinterest-worthy" first day pictures. I only ended up getting a few hours of sleep and because of that, we SLEPT in Tuesday morning.

We woke up at 8am and needed to get showered, dressed, eat breakfast and pack lunches all by 8:25 in order to get to school on time. My first day "Pinterest-worthy" picture was going to have to wait. By some miracle, we made it on time (without lunches or snack). Luckily, they didn't expect to have me create any lesson plans or anything. I was just observing in two of the classrooms and helping out. Leah and I got home and I decided that I could take a first day picture even if it was after school. I redid her hair, cleaned her face, and handed her a frame off the wall. We sat out on the front steps of our villa and she actually smiled. CHECK! Unfortunately, I don't have Photoshop installed on my computer yet, so it was a ghetto Microsoft Paint job to add text to the frame... but alas, it's done! ..and I think she's adorable!

Today is Wednesday and we are back home and I am waiting for Microsoft Office to install on my computer so I can try my best to make my lesson plans for next week. My class consist of ten kids right now. Only one of them speaks English at home... Leah. Heck,.. I can barely pronounce their names correctly - Ahmed, Mariam, Matar, Mezna, Mys, Lilas, Rashed, Fatima, and Khalifa, In my classroom before, you would have maybe 5 or 6 ELL learners, but the other 20 kids in your class spoke English. Now, none of my students speak my language and I don't speak theirs. It should be an interesting challenge. They're all 2 years old and just learning to speak anyway. The director tells me that they will have English down by third term.

My biggest concern about this job right now is my little sweet Leah. She has been having difficulty sharing me with the other kids and has been crying a lot. The other teachers and the director tell me that it is just a transition and that she will be fine soon enough, but I can't help but have this terrible awful feeling in my mommy gut. A part of me is really concerned that she's not READY to go to preschool 5 days a week for 4 hours a day. That's A LOT! She's only two years old. :( I keep on telling myself that the socialization and structure that she is getting will be good for her, but it all just seemed WRONG whenever I heard her sobbing at school and asking to go home today... she's not really much of a crier at all.

When we get home, we just snuggle on the couch, just the two of us and discuss our morning. I guess I'm going to have to pull the band-aid off sometime... and I guess being her preschool teacher is about as transitional as it can possibly get.