It's been about three weeks since I've turned on my desktop computer. Right now it's on because I'm updating my iPad. I'm hoping the new update will allow me to post on blogger.
Anyway, I guess I'll update you on my life while my iPad is updating.
School is going well. My kids are starting to get along and I have really great parent support this year. I had a student that never showed up and a student that moved, so I'm down to 25 students, WO HOO!! Shhh! Don't tell anyone at my school. I'm pretty sure it's a whole two students lower than any of the other fourth grade classrooms. I guess that just means I'll get the first new student, but I'll just count myself lucky for now.
On the health/getting pregnant front... Well things are not what I wanted them to be. On Halloween, I finished the last of the birth control prescription that my doctor put me on a few months ago to treat the endometriosis. I got an ultrasound a week ago to check on everything and yesterday I had an appointment scheduled to discuss it all. I was pretty excited for my appointment because I figured my doctor would be giving me the thumbs up for trying to get pregnant. I was already dreaming of a late summer/early fall due date. Silly me.
Well, I get in there and it turns out that my ultrasound was not good. They're not exactly sure, but it looks like I still have an endometrioma on my right ovary that looks to be about 3 centimeters. That's a lot better than the 10 centimeters that it was pre-surgery, but I'm pretty sure they were hoping for 0 centimeters. The birth control I was on for three straight months didn't do what it was supposed to do. Time wasted. Now that I'm off birth control, things are untreated and it will just get worse every month.
I'm sitting there trying to figure out what all of this means. Then my doctor asks me,
"Well it all depends on if you want a baby now or later?"
Tears are starting to form and I'm trying so hard to keep everything together. "YES, I want a baby now. I've been going through this now for over two years. I want a baby yesterday."
She looks at me with a sad face and hands me a tissue. Then, she turns over a piece of paper and starts making a little t-chart. On the top of the t-chart are two headings "Baby Now" and "Baby Later." She starts with the "Baby Later" side...
Option 1: There's a drug called Depo Lupron. Its kind of like the Depo-Provera shot that women get for birth control except basically the exact opposite. Depo makes a woman's body believe that she is pregnant by mimicking hormones that the placenta releases during pregnancy. Lupron would make me go through a temporary MENOPAUSE, with hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings... all that fun stuff. The treatment would take about 2-3 months depending on it's effectiveness, and THEN she'd put me on Clomid (a fertility drug) and we'd try to get pregnant right away. She said that this medicine is very effective and that the endometrioma would go away. Great... another 3 months of waiting...
Option 2: Now to the "Baby Now" side which I was hoping would be a lot better. She basically said that we COULD try now, but she's not sure if I could even get pregnant. When the endometriosis is bad, I can't get pregnant. She doesn't know how bad it is right now. You can't see endometriosis with an ultrasound. The risks are not good. There's a chance that the endometrioma could grow back again without treatment and I would be in the operating room again in a few months. If we do this option, I will need to be closely monitored with ultrasounds 1-2 times monthly.
Decisions, decisions...
I talked to Doug about it when I got home. Even though he was very weary of
the Lupron, he didn't even hesitate to go with the "Baby Later" side. He is first and foremost concerned about my health. Ugh, figures! It turns out my problem is that I want a baby more than I don't want to have surgery again. The Depo Lupron seems pretty extreme (and scary) to both of us, but we want to
make SURE that there is an endometrioma in there before I start taking
it.
Right now, we're just going to try to get a better idea of things. My doctor is having me schedule an MRI so she can get a better look at
everything and we're going to do another ultrasound in about a week. The problem is that they can't tell what is my ovary and what is the endometrioma. Hopefully the MRI will clear up that up.
I'm praying right now that what they THINK is an endometrioma is just my ovary looking nice and plump and ready to make a baby.
I wish I could lend my uterus and ovaries as there is a strong chance I may not ever use them again, or a least for a long while. I am an outsider, and so in now way have a say. But I fortunately work with a schload of OBGYNs and can ask them what they think of the drug in treating endometriosis. Because 3 months seems like eternity when you want a baby now (and I do know how that feels) but looking back, that was but a teeny-tiny moment. I l love you Jenny and want you to have that little squishy baby in your arms! You will make an awesome mom. I will report back to you my findings next week!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting these updates Jenny. The whole feeling of "i want my own baby NOW" is not lost on me. Personally, i do know it will happen for me one day some how. Most of the time i don't stress about it cuz that just makes it hard on me... But some days that still doesn't take away the desire for it to happen when i think it should. Just be grateful you don't have to deal with military doctors :) I'm pretty sure the process takes 3x's as long to get results or any kind of diagnoses at all. As far as your situation, the only rational thing to do is to put feelings aside (easier said then done) and see which option makes the most sense. Make a decision and pray about it. I know you'll have your baby one day!
ReplyDeleteUgh you have been through so much Jenny! You are in my thoughts, and I will keep you in my prayers. I really hope all of this is figured out and soon so that you can have what you want and feel better. Thanks for keeping us posted. I like hearing and keeping up with everything with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the disappointing doctor's appointment. That's got to be so frustrating. I wish there were some explanation for it all, but it really doesn't make sense to me, as I'm sure it doesn't to you. Maybe someday we'll have that eternal perspective and be able to look back and understand. You will one day be an awesome Mom, and I wish it could just happen to you faster because you deserve it. You are truly amazing with kids and I really can't wait to meet yours! And menopause symptoms and teaching? Wow! You'll be in my prayers. Hopefully the MRI will clarify and help you and Doug make a decision on how to proceed. I wish I could help more than just to pray and cheer for you on the side-lines! If you think of anything I can do to help you out in anyway, just let me know. Thanks again for being such an amazing teacher.
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