Morning Sickness

I have to do a little backtracking on my blogging because I waited so long to go "public," but I wanted to share a few stories from earlier in my pregnancy.

About a week or so after we found out that I was pregnant, Doug found out that he was going to need to take a last minute trip to Germany for work for the next 5 1/2 weeks! Yuck!

A couple of days after he left, the morning sickness started to kick in. I was really bummed because my mom was one of those lucky people that did not experience morning sickness with any of her kajillion pregnancies. My morning sickness was a slight annoyance at first with just some minor nauseous feelings, but I was surviving just fine. About a week in (the first week of school coincidentally) the "morning" sickness started to get worse. It got to the point where I was puking almost daily in the shower and during my 45 minute morning commute. Luckily at school I just felt queasy and only had to step out of the classroom about a half a dozen times or so a day to pull myself together. I would then leave school ASAP and end up puking on the way home.

It was during this time that I ended up telling my principal I was pregnant because she wouldn't leave me the heck alone over my plans not being done. I was about ready to chew her out, so it was a good thing I told her. :) I don't think that I was necessarily hormonal... I just didn't feel good about 16 hours of the day every day and it made me not a happy or very nice person.

My class was wonderful during this time and an absolute blessing. I was sure they were wondering what in the heck was wrong with me. Sometimes I would randomly stop teaching in the middle of the lesson and walk out of the classroom or just sit at my desk with a trashcan between my legs and ask them to read for a couple minutes. No questions asked. They just went a long with it! My class should be sainted.

My house became a total disaster. I had been forcing myself to eat breakfast every morning, but when I couldn't finish it, I would leave whatever it was on the floor for Darwin to eat. (Here cat, have some oatmeal.) Darwin doesn't even eat people food, so I ended up having an accumulation of eggs and cereal bowls collecting on my kitchen floor! Yeah, haha it was a sight to see! :)

It turned out that the time difference between Germany and the United States was a lot less convenient than Thailand and Doug and I were only able to actually talk about 1-2 times a week. It sucked and I complained a lot. Glad that's over with.

I finally caved and asked for the anti-nausea medication that my doctor offered. It helped take the edge off of some of the sickness and return some of my functionality. I was able to get my house picked up enough to host a dinner with my family for my brother in law, Jon, to visit on his way to the Middle East for 6 months. It really helped me keep the 5 1/2 weeks that I was complaining about in perspective.

It was during this time that I took my first belly shots. The first in the red shirt was at 6 weeks (I think I was probably pushing my belly out in excitement. Haha!) and the other one was around 9 weeks. I also got two early ultrasounds. One at around 7 weeks and then one at 9 weeks to officially date the pregnancy. (When I called to tell my doctor I was pregnant, I could hear her jumping for joy on the other end of the phone, so she prematurely scheduled my first appointment a little early resulting in the next one being only 2 weeks later.) The picture I posted is of the nine week ultrasound. I was fortunate enough to hear the heartbeat both times.

Baby Stuff?!?

I was very hesitant to start looking at baby stuff this time around. Last time, when I had my miscarriage, I had been a big dummy and made a registry the day after I found out that I was pregnant. I kept on getting reminder emails afterward and it was incredibly painful.

This time I waited until I was around 20 weeks to even start looking. Holy crap! There is A LOT of baby stuff...cribs, bouncers, car seats, gliders, changing tables, bibs, strollers... the list goes on and on! I started over Thanksgiving break and was becoming completely overwhelmed. Not only was I concerned about the financial impossibility of purchasing all of these items, but I also wanted to get good stuff that I would need and actually use.

I delved into all of the research and read hundreds of reviews on everything from strollers to baby spoons. I thought I would feel better, but it all felt so complicated. How did women do this whole parenting thing before bathtub rubber ducky thermometers and video baby monitors?

I want a stroller, but I know that I'll probably end up getting one of those simple umbrella strollers eventually so why should I invest in something that is so bulky that I'll use for such a short time? Answer: infant stroller that will work as a jogging stroller. Problem: the one I want is cheaper and everyone talks about how the straps get tangled up in the infant car seat. Is that a deal breaker?

What about getting a breast pump? Oh man, are those things expensive!!! I'll be staying home, but I want to introduce a bottle and allow Doug some bonding time with our little girl. I also think that it might be nice to be able to just take a bottle out in public instead of yanking my boobs out all the time. What if Doug and I are lucky enough to have a date night and my parents are baby sitting?

Do I really need a bouncer, a swing, a play mat, etc? I hear and read conflicting views about how, "The bouncer saved my life!" Or "My daughter was never really interested in the swing." I don't know what my little girl will prefer.

Don't even get me started on nursery colors!

I was at my wits end with baby stuff and about ready to give up on it all when I grabbed Doug's baby book off the top of our bookshelf in the bedroom one morning. I only needed to flip through the first couple of pages to feel better. Doug was a BYU baby and his parents were POOR college students when he was born. They had basically nothing and he turned out just fine!

I don't need to worry about all of this stuff! It will all be OKAY. Any helpful advice about baby things though would definitely be appreciated. :)

I took some grainy pictures of some pictures in Doug's baby book with my iPad, so I will leave those with you.

Paradigm Shift

Right now I'm home sick from school with some sort of cold/flu thing. It sucks. I just want to be able to breathe through my nose again and not feel all achy.

So all of this time in bed has given me time to think. Becoming a mom has been something I have dreamed of my whole life and now at 22 weeks pregnant, it is turning into more and more of a reality. I can feel my little girl moving daily now and I am so excited to meet her in April!

As if becoming a parent isn't a big enough change, I'm now thinking about how my life will be as a stay at home mom. It has been mine and Doug's plan from the beginning for me to stay home with our children. We are not loaded by any stretch of the imagination, but we are really good savers and not very good spenders. These two things combined with the fact that it took freaking FOREVER to get pregnant have allowed us to prepare for this day financially.

I truly do love my job... especially with the amazing group of kiddos I have in my room this year. I'm having a really hard time saying goodbye to the teaching profession even if it only is temporarily while I raise my family. The parents that have asked about next year have all been visibly disappointed when I tell them that I'll be staying home. I expected a bunch of "Good for you's!" and "They don't stay young forever!" Instead I got, "I was hoping you could be (younger siblings)'s teacher." and stuff like, "You have a gift for teaching. You shouldn't leave!!!"

The people-pleaser in me wants to make all of these people happy. I mean, there are tons of GREAT moms that do it every day... work full time and parent. I just don't know if I can be one of them. Teaching to me is more than a full time job. Yes, there is the grading and planning that happens outside of school, but it is MORE than that. I am 100% dedicated to my students each year. They are my life. I think about them when I drive home, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about them, and they are usually one of the first things I think about in the morning. Is that weird?

I don't think that I can give 100% to them and still have enough left for my little family. I honestly don't know how people balance it all. If I am going to teach, I want to do it the way I always have. My job makes me really happy most days and is very fulfilling. I worry that I'll miss it terribly. My friends at work tell me, "When you hold her in your arms the first time, none of it will matter!" I've seen huge changes in my friends that have become parents recently and I still think it is the craziest thing. I feel this big change coming in my life and I have no clue how I am going to be afterward.

My plan right now is to work up to spring break which is the last week in March this year. Over the past 6 years that I worked for the county I'm in, I have only taken maybe 2 sick days (not counting this week) so fortunately I have a TON saved up. This will allow me to have a few weeks at home to prepare for our little girl's arrival if she is on time for her April 11th due date. A BIG part of me wants to work up to my due date, but I hate to lose the 30 plus sick days that I will have remaining AFTER I take my maternity leave. Right now, when someone asks me my due date, I tell them the beginning of April. ...darn guilty conscience.

My life sure is changing quickly. I'm gearing up for a major paradigm shift!

I'm going to be a MOM!

For those of you not on Facebook with me, you may not have heard the news.

After years of trying naturally unsuccessfully, surgery, and then other medical interventions, it took just one month of COMPLETELY giving up to it to happen. No fertility drugs, no counting, no temping, no sex... Well just kidding on the last one. ;)

I just wish I would have known giving up worked so well earlier! It would have saved three years of heartache. Giving up for me was the hardest part though. It was the conclusion that I had come to after I realized that I didn't have much fight left in me. My raw emotional state, the monthly roller coaster ride, and the harsh medical interventions I had been going through had all been trying on my marriage and on me personally. I had to honestly accept that it might just be Doug and I and that I was going to have to be OKAY with that.

I do realize that I could not have gotten to this point without my doctor. I also realize that my Heavenly Father had this planned all along for me. I couldn't have planned it better myself! I can honestly say LOOKING BACK that learned a lot about patience and planning and I grew a lot through my experiences.

PLEASE don't let me be one of those stories that you tell your friends who are having fertility issues. "I had this one friend that just gave up after YEARS of trying and now she's pregnant!" Although well-meaning, it does absolutely nothing to make your friend feel better and in fact makes her feel more defective. Just be there to listen and be supportive.

Finding out:

It was Wednesday, the first day of August and I had just gotten back from a day at Lake Anna with my friend Caitlin and her family where I got to do some kneeboarding. (pretty successful kneeboarding, I might add!) My arms were pretty sore still a couple days later, so I decided to take some ibuprofen (I hadn't taken the stuff the whole three years we were trying to get pregnant.) I hadn't done any counting the whole months of July or beginning August, so I honestly didn't even know when I was going to get my period. As I was going to bed a couple days later that Friday night, I started doing some back counting in my head and realized that I was three days late. I made a conscious decision to not get my hopes up and just go to bed.

The next morning on Saturday, I woke up a little before 5 and decided that I was going to test. There were two pregnancy tests in my bathroom cabinet. One of them was a first response and the other was one of those more expensive clear blue pregnancy tests that my friend had given me once she found out she was pregnant. I had decided in my head a while ago that the clear blue one would be the one that I would use when I REALLY thought I was pregnant. I have lost count of how many of those darn first response ones I have seen with negative results.

Anyway, I decided to use the first response one because I wasn't going to get my hopes up and it turned out unmistakably positive.

What?!?!?!?

I started shaking immediately, fell to my knees, and said a long, tearful prayer of thanks.

I'm going to be a mom to my little girl due in April!

Summer, Where have you Gone?

Okay I swear this was the fastest summer on record! I go back to work tomorrow!

I started off the summer by focusing on my social studies textbook and that is DONE.  Turned in and sent to the printers 2 weeks ago.  I sent the lady at the print center a few emails with VERY specific instructions for printing and a cover change color. (from goldenrod to a light yellow)  I'm glad its done and I can't wait to see the finished results.  It should be at the school tomorrow!

In July, I headed out to Utah to visit family.  I spent the first week at my grandparents scanning in over a THOUSAND family portraits. My grandma is big into a family history.  She has four full-size filing cabinets full to the brim of family history.  I'm helping her go digital, but it will take many MANY more man hours.

Here's a picture of Grandma and I about 25 years ago!

  I also had some fun restoring some pictures of some of my ancestors.

These are the before and after pictures of my ancestors the Arnold's.

I scanned in about a kazillion more.  Here are some of my favorites from my family.  Notice how we start to look a little more ragged as the years progress and more kids join the family.

1984 or 1985 (Me as Baby!)

1987 or 1988 (Kate as baby)

1990-ish (Eliza as baby.  I don't even know where my parents are for this picture.)

1991-ish (Chris as baby.  Check out the huge pink ring on my thumb that ruined the whole picture!)

I think my parents stopped sending pictures of the family at this point or they didn't make it into the album that I was scanning, but my parents had two more kids, Shelly and Johnny after this last picture! 

I am going to need to spend more time up there next summer scanning some more pictures because this project is FAR from over.

After a week at my grandparents, we headed over to my in-laws for some rest and relaxation.  We spent a lot of days at their pool, went camping in the mountains, went to a concert, hosted a family reunion, and lots more.

Here are some random pictures from my time there that I took with my new phone.

I admit I was a little obsessed with the chickens!

Fresh eggs every morning! Yum!

New Hair

Lots of pool time with a great view of the mountains at the in-laws

Science Center in SLC

So its seems that summer is officially over. :( I start in my classroom tomorrow and MAYBE this year I'll take before and after shots so you can see how much work it is to set up the room!  Wish me luck!

Dad's Progress on Childhood Home

So I'm blogging from my new phone which I am ABSOLUTELY LOVING. It is amazing and I can do everything on it.
Well the post title says that this will be about my childhood home, so I guess I'll share the pictures that I took today.

About two years ago, my family randomly bought a new house. Now most people when they buy a house, they sell their a old one. Well, not my family. My dad is fixing up the old house so that he and my mom can retire in it. There's nothing wrong with the new house. But the stairs are kinda steep, so he figures it would be better to have a one level house.

The thing that I can't get past is that my dad has been doing this whole project by himself. When I look at it, it just seems crazy. But seeing my dad do this all on his own, makes me feel like I can do anything that I put my mind to like my dad did.

Oh and one last cool thing about my phone. I didn't type a single word for this post. My phone is listening and it's typing for me.

I'm Interesting.. Really!

So I was looking on my camera and I remembered that I've actually done some things as of lately and actually brought my camera.

The first pictures are of a recent camping trip Doug and I took to New Germany State Park in western Maryland. Doug used to go to this campsite as a kid and always talks about it. Now that I've gone, I know why! The park is absolutely breathtaking. We went on several hikes and there were just green ferns everywhere covering the forest ground. We had NO cell phone reception at all, so it was pretty weird being completely cut off from the world... but nice, I guess. I'm still trying to decide if I like sleeping on the ground, but I know FOR SURE that I enjoy campfire food. Whenever we go camping Doug cooks all the meals. The summer he worked at scout camp, he taught the cooking merit badge!

The next pictures are of Brooke and Maggie, the two newest little ladies in my life. Their mom's, Caitlin and Melissa came over and hung out at my place for our weekly Tuesday Girls' Night Out.

The last pictures are of the family room and dinette/kitchen area. I FINALLY, after like 4 years of indecision picked out paint colors that I thought would go well enough together since the rooms border one another. I do have to say that I LOVE the colors, seriously the pictures don't do them justice because it doesn't quite show up as good as it is in person.

Family room

The dinette off of the kitchen painted blue!

These are the two colors next to each other.

Still not done, but it will have to wait until after my trip to Utah.

Summer Update of Randomness

Summer is going well.  I'm staying pretty busy, so that's good.  It's amazing how much better my days go when I have a tutoring appointment to get to.  It keeps me from the all-day pajama days which make me feel loser-ish. I'm making good progress on my textbook as well.

I also started a teacher blog which I'll probably never blog on again, but here's the address if you're interested in checking it out.  My favorite part was actually just putting together the header and designing the page. If anyone wants to redo theirs and they have an idea of what they want, let me know and I would love to create a header graphic for you.  Just putting that out there.

What else... well, Friday night we had this crazy storm.  Doug and I stood in the garage and watched it wreak havoc outside.  At first it was just this crazy lightning storm in the distance and then it came over us and the lightning was turning green.  It was freaky, but really cool to watch.  We heard some transformers blow and a bunch of trees just snapping like toothpicks and blowing by us.  We don't have any big trees near our house, but our two closest neighbors had trees down in their yards. One of my local friends posted this picture on Facebook.  No wonder we lost our power!

Luckily my parents got their power back pretty quickly, so we brought all of our refrigerator and freezer contents over there.  All in all, we only lost our power for 14 hours.  I'm feeling pretty lucky considering that there are many that STILL do not have power and it's like 100 degrees outside.

We then headed over to Doug's Aunt Paula's house for a family reunion/picnic get together.  They didn't have power either, but they had two generators for the refrigerators and they usually grill all of the food anyway.  With all of the storm craziness, I forgot my camera.  I was kicking myself the whole time!  Aunt Paula has 25 acres directly on the Shenandoah river with breathtaking views of the Blue Ridge.  We shot guns, went canoeing, set off fireworks, and just had a great time talking and catching up with one another.  Here are some pictures from last year, so you can get an idea of the awesomeness.

This is Paula's house.  It is absolutely gorgeous inside and out.  I think it was modeled after one of HGTV's dream homes.

Doug and his cousin, Mike, driving around on the property.

  

There is not another single structure in site.  Just the green, rolling mountains of the Blue Ridge.

 Doug is a crack shot.  Here is a picture of him shooting his Glock 9mm.

I've started to prepare for my trip out to Utah, well not really unless THINKING about packing counts.  I leave this Wednesday and I won't be back until the 24th!

As far as trying to get pregnant I feel like time is moving either in slow motion or backward.  I skipped the ovulation predictor kit (OPK) this cycle because I was getting frustrated.  I had done it previous cycles and the doctor had not used the information at all. Well this last Monday, I went in to get some blood work to check my progesterone levels on the Clomid. 

My doctor emailed me with the test results and said that my progesterone levels looked a little low and wanted to know what the results were of the OPK's I did this month.  What??  I had been using them the last few months and no one was using the results.  So this month I skip out and apparently not doing them made my test results inconclusive.  Another wasted month.

Doc says that she wants me to take a break this month while I'm in Utah.  She said that I "sounded a little stressed." Really??

I guess its just that I feel like I'm running out of time.

See this amazing woman below.  It's Doug's grandmother.  His last living grandparent.  I've become pretty close to "JoMa" the seven years that Doug and I have been married.  She's my number one cheerer for getting pregnant.  Doug is the only son of an only son.  This means that he is the ONE to pass down the family name of Doug that has been passed down for generations.

Grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer the year before last.  She's had a rough time going through chemo the last year and they just found out at her last appointment that the cancer has gotten to her lungs. I always hoped that our children would get to know her.  Now, I'm just hoping that I can take a picture of her holding them.

I hate ending on a negative, dramatic note so I'll share something random and positive...

Our cell phone plan is re-upping which means that I get to buy a new phone!  I'm been struggling with my Palm Pre for basically the full two years that I've owned it.  On my tentative schedule tomorrow is me going to pick up a new phone... and I'm thinking about getting the new iPhone 4S.  Most attractive feature at this point is the dual antennas because it will work internationally if we end up moving to Thailand in the next year or two.  Oh yeah and the 8 MP camera doesn't hurt either.

Now I only need to decide if I want in it white or black. :)