Time to Start Blogging Again

I stopped blogging more than four months ago.  Most of it was from the frustration of still not being pregnant.  I couldn't write a sentence without thinking about getting pregnant, wanting to be pregnant, wondering if I could actually be pregnant.  It's a crappy cycle that happens every month...

So, finally the reason for my return.

My grandpa fell off a ladder two weeks ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury.  He probably doesn't remember who I am anymore, but I can't just go to visit him because he lives in Utah.  My cousin's wife who lives nearby and keeps a blog wrote about it here and here.

I never really got to know my grandparents until I was in college because they lived so far way.  They built a house where I went to school my senior year.  I was in my first year of teaching when I started going over every week to do laundry.  I know, I know, GREAT way to get to know your grandparents.  I would unwind and tell stories of my crazy day.  They would listen and tell me how I had to be the greatest teacher ever.  (I'm sure there was absolutely no favoritism.)  Doug would always come over later and we got our only home cooked meal (with REAL ingredients) for the week.  It was during the time that I washed and dried my two or three loads of laundry each week that I got to know my grandparents. 

I learned about my grandpa's days as a high school football player making trouble and almost getting kicked off the team.  I found out that my grandpa always puts cut up hard boiled eggs in his salad each night AND it actually makes the salad good.  He likes to play Solitaire on the computer.  He loves to watch FOX news.  He probably would watch it non-stop if grandma would let him. :) He even vacuums the same weird way I do.

I learned about how my grandma could move her five kids and all of their stuff into a house on a Saturday and have everything unpacked and in place by the next morning with a roast in the slow cooker for Sunday dinner.  I heard stories about how my grandma was the only one to know of a long lost family history portrait hidden behind another in an old frame.  Now I know that my grandma keeps a stash of fruit roll ups in her pantry just for the great grand kids. (and the grand kids too if they want)

I wish I would've listened better.  There are more stories that I haven't heard.  Some that I just don't remember.  I just want him to get back to be the same grandpa he was before.  I miss how he always used to talk about how he loved my smile.  He always said that my smile was one of a kind because of the way my eyes twinkled.

I need to start recording my memories again.

See You in Two Years

 Little Chris!

 Today, we dropped off my brother Chris at the airport.  It is the last time that we will see him for two years.  We will write letters back and forth and get calls from him on Christmas and Mother's Day.  He will be serving a mission in Mexico City, Mexico for our church.  I miss him already, but I know that he will be a great missionary.  I saw this group or something on Facebook that had a definition of missionary that I liked.
Missionary: someone who leaves their family for two years so others can spend eternity with theirs.

Here is the family plus Shelly's BFF who happened to be spending the night.

Liza and Chris (Then and Now)

 Shelly and Chris

Johnny and Chris

Mom and Chris

 Dad and Chris

Unloading at the airport

Saying goodbye

Dad helping Chris with his luggage

Watching Chris walk into the terminal

Chris will be spending a couple days with my grandparents out in Utah before reporting to the MTC this Tuesday.  I'm in the process of setting up a separate mission blog for Chris.  I will be posting his emails and typing up his letters for the family.  I'm hoping that I can make it into a book when he gets back and give it to him as a coming home present in 2 years.

 You're going to be a SUPER missionary, Chris!

A Plan

I've known that this unfortunate anniversary has been coming up for a while now and I've been dreading it.  I had really been on the fence about whether or not I wanted to share, but while I was visiting Doug's grandma she put a printout of this article in my hands to read.  It portrayed writing as therapy, so here it goes.

Christmas morning 2009, eight months ago, I woke up and jumped out of bed. We had been trying for several months to get pregnant, I had religiously been taking my prenatal vitamins… and I was a week late. I had already wasted several of those overpriced pee sticks, so I had made myself wait this time. Doug was still sleeping, so I tiptoed to the bathroom, turned on the nightlight, and took the test.

Two very clear dark pink lines, a positive result.

I ran to tell Doug, who honestly seemed a tad bit more nervous than excited.

I then started brainstorming all of the fun ways I could tell my parents that Christmas morning and even Googled for ideas online. I couldn’t really find anything that could be done without advance preparation, so I found an empty box, wrapped it, and put a label on it – To: Family.

We arrived at my parents' house and I did everything I could to hurry the family to the basement for opening presents. Present after present I waited, until we came to the last present. From: Jenny and Doug, To: Family. My dad opened the box, dug through all of the tissue paper, and then looked at me with a confused face when he had found nothing. I announced to the family that, “Our present won’t be arriving for another 8 months or so…(silence and blank stares)... I’m pregnant!!!”  I then called all of my sisters who were ecstatic. I was literally floating.  It was amazing to think that a little life was beginning inside of me.

The last few crappy months of my husband having to live away from home for work, my car breaking down and being unfixable, my childhood best friend dying in a sudden car accident, and my new kitten being tragically killed in my home were over. I was pregnant and things were going to be good again.

Then a little more than 24 hours later, I started bleeding.  My pregnancy bliss ended rather quickly.

My doctor confirmed it. I had been pregnant for 5 weeks and 5 days. 

Please don’t ask me when I’m going to have kids.

I was supposed to have a baby TODAY.

I’m still not pregnant.

It turns out that the Lord has a plan for me.

It just happens to be different from the one that I had for me.

Staying Busy Before School Starts

I came by the old house to pick up an extra old computer for parts and an extra mini fridge for my classroom this year.  Mom and dad got Liza one while she was in the dorms, but now that she has an apartment (with a full-size fridge and such) I get to use it!  It's weird going to the "old house" now.  My parents bought basically all new (well, craigslist slightly used) furniture for the new house, so the old house is still furnished.  It just looks kind of abandoned.  The construction is progressing though.  Here is a picture of how it looked today.

I decided on my way driving over that I wanted to surprise my mom with lunch because she seemed kind of down and a little overwhelmed after her first day of school. (I've had experience with this.) I had originally planned to work on my classroom a little more, but I realized once school starts I won't be able to do things like this.

Chris, my younger brother (I can't say "little" anymore) was at the old house packing up his room into storage containers because he'll be away for the next 2 years on his mission.  He helped me out by putting the mini fridge in my car (hopefully I can get it out).  We had some downtime before lunch time, so we hung out and talked.  He packed boxes while I cleaned out the refrigerator. (The big one in the kitchen that was empty of food, but full of crumbs and spills.) We still had a while before we were going to pick up lunch, so I took out some old boxes with pictures.

I found all of these treasures!  I LOVE LOVE LOVE pictures!

This picture of my parents was taken on my birthday... just 9 years before I was born.

 This is a picture of my parents at what looks like an engagement party, although it was referred to as a candle lighting party or something like that.  They look so skinny!

 These are two of my parents' engagement photos.  Nice pants dad!

I remember looking at this picture when I was a kid.  My dad painted the ceiling in an attic of a house like this for my mom when they were dating.

Kate in a Halloween costume and Heather in a pageant gown.

Finally this is a picture of the "old" house (same as pictured above) about 2 additions ago.

This is a picture of my sister, Bekah, and I that was put on the front of a Girl Scout Pamphlet.  I didn't know that it existed, but now that I think about it I do remember some sort of photo session at this weird Girl Scout store. 

While we were talking, I decided that I wanted to bring lunch to both Shelly and Johnny as well as to my mom.  We both jumped in the car and headed over to Subway to get lunch.  Somewhere in my mind I pictured walking up to the offices of the schools saying, "I'm bringing lunch to my brother/sister." and that they would just send me to their room or to the cafeteria to hand it over to them. 

Johnny's school buzzed him down to the office and he thought he was in trouble.  Shelly's school is run like a prison and they would not even let me get within 10 feet of the cafeteria with "outside food."  This teacher hallway monitor reamed me out for even trying to go to the cafeteria.  I was expecting something like, "Oh, that's sweet that you're bringing your sister lunch!  Walk right in!"  

What I got was:

Mean Teacher - "MISS, Where are you headed?!"  

Me - "Um, to drop off lunch for my little sister in the cafeteria.  I already checked in with the office." 

MT - "WHY?"

Me -  "I thought it would be a nice surprise for her first week back to school."

MT - "NO OUTSIDE FOOD!  You need to stand in the office and WAIT for her to come out." 

Me - "Well, they buzzed her 10 minutes ago and I don't think she can hear in there."

MT - "Well, YOU CAN'T go in the cafeteria!  So WAIT in the OFFICE!"

Another teacher that happened to be in the office and saw my obvious frustration was nice enough to try to locate her in the cafeteria just in enough time for the ending lunch bell to ring.  I understand trying to be safe and secure, but that teacher was just rude.  We stood there and watched her yell at students the whole lunch block while we, "waited in the office." 

We were actually able to get visitor passes at the elementary school where my mom works and ate with her in her classroom.  Her room is really coming together.  We also got to meet her class as they were leaving the cafeteria.  It kind of got me excited about starting school again this year.

Visiting Grandma

Doug's little sisters, Katie and Allie, are out here visiting us from Utah for a little over a week this summer.  I decided to go with them out to West Virginia to stay at Grandma's house this week.  It's quiet out at grandma's house and there's not too much to do in the small town that she lives in, but we've found ways to stay busy.

Leslie, Doug's aunt, was visiting grandma as well so we got to hang out with her a little bit.  I think Allie and her became BFF's the two overlap days that we got to spend with her before she headed back home.  Here are some pictures of Leslie doing Allie's nails.

We went to the local library and checked out some books.  I sat down in the children's section reading Sharon Creech's book, Finding Redbird. Allie started up a conversation with a little boy the same age as her in the library and before you knew it they were best friends playing a game of Monopoly.  I got Katie started on Walk Two Moons, one of Sharon Creech's books as well which happens to be one of my my favorites. Doesn't she look so studious in this picture of her reading!

Then later in the day while Grandma and Katie went to the grocery store, Allie and I decided to go to the playground at a nearby elementary school.  I was able to snap some pictures of her hamming it up there.

I love this picture to the right.  It reminds of me of Doug's face when he sings to the Rick Roll song in the car.  If you don't know about the internet phenomenon of "being Rick Roll'd" click here.  Allie decided that she wanted a shot of me as well, so here is a picture of the all natural, unplucked, unbrushed, no make-up, air dried hair... Jenny as photographed by an 8 year old.  (She didn't do a bad job!)

We then came home for our nightly ritual of sitting of the porch while eating some yummy icecream cones and counting bats as it gets dark.  Grandma needed to water her front plants, so her and Allie had a little  unexpected fun with the water hose.  It started with, "Grandma, can I wet my hair down a little bit?"

You may ask, "Where was Katie during all of this?"  She decided to take Leslie's advice on "the best nap ever" which occurs on the front porch swing at Grandma's house.

Grandma also is teaching me how to knit.  I'm starting out with a scarf.  I think we'll be going to the knitting group tomorrow so I can show everyone my newly obtained mad knitting skills.

Below is the start of my FIRST EVER knitting project.  It started out a little rough at first, but I've started to get the hang of it now.  I don't think I'll be knitting any sweaters anytime soon though.