Doug is about to becoming an unknowing and probably unwilling author on this blog. I mean, his name is on it and all... and he forwards his website
www.dougandjenny.com to here as well! I wanted to share some of his neat experiences in Thailand.
Greetings from the Other Side of the World
Just thought I would let you know that after 19 hours of sitting on an airplane, I am finally in the Kingdom of Thailand! The last few days (two for you, three for me) have been a bit of a whirlwind. To start it off, the merger of United and Continental Airlines’ database systems occurred on Saturday, the day I was flying out; to complicate matters, the plane we were scheduled to go on had technical troubles the day before, so they assigned our flight a new plane – these two variables combined resulted in most of the aircraft apparently being assigned the same seat. It was a nightmare. We were more than an hour late taking off.
I had a layover in Tokyo, Japan. You can still see some of the wreckage from the earthquake and tsunami last year. Airport security in Japan is a little funny – they still have a deeply-rooted social class system, and the people doing the security checks obviously felt extremely uncomfortable about inspecting my luggage; they asked my permission each time they unzipped a pocket on my backpack and didn’t really poke around much, then apologized profusely for the delay and inconvenience. It was a stark contrast to the TSA, who all appear to be aspiring OB/GYNs or proctologists.
I arrived a little before 1AM. The weather in Bangkok was 85 degrees and extremely humid. You start sweating as soon as they open the aircraft doors and continue sweating until you’re indoors for a solid half hour. My hotel room is bigger than my first apartment and is paneled in cherry and bamboo. The hotel sent a limo service for me, and I tipped the driver 150 baht (the national currency). 150 baht translates into about five US dollars, but it’s a lot of money here! You can eat out for lunch on about 200 baht a week, or buy a freshly-beheaded whole chicken at the outdoor market in front of Sukumvirit park.
Thais are used to the heat, and are known to wear down jackets if it gets below 70-75 degrees. I keep my room at the lowest the thermostat will go to, which is about 66 degrees Fahrenheit if I’m reading it right. The cleaning crew will almost certainly don parkas and snow boots for my room.
Anyway, I have to get back to embassy business, but wanted to let everyone know I was doing OK.
VOLUME II: Tales of Action and Intrigue from Siam
Unfortunately, we’ve had a local network outage that will take about an hour to resolve, so in the meantime, I can assault entertain you with more stories from Bangkok.
After work last night, I went to one of the largest malls in Thailand called MBK (Maiboon Krong). It is eight stories tall, and has about 2,500 stores. Many of them are traditional mall stores that you might expect, but parts of it are more like a “market” feel, with very small booths packed into a tiny space. The food is also great – in malls like this in Thailand, you are given a small electronic card when you enter the food court that you swipe when you order food from various merchants, and then pay when you exit. Most places will specialize in a single food, so you visit one vendor to get curry, and then another vendor to get a drink, and another vendor to get dessert. I had a large meal of red curry with chicken and a strawberry smoothie with mango sticky rice for dessert, at a grand total of 300 baht (about ten dollars). Including my hotel, I’m easily able to live on less than $100/day, which is pretty remarkable for such a big city.
This morning, a woman was pushing a cart around with orange juice she would make from scratch in front of you – no water or sugar. It was 10 baht (about 30 cents) for 250 mililiters and was the most amazing drink I’ve ever consumed. It didn’t taste anything like orange juice or even any drink I’ve had before. I will definitely be splurging 30 cents in the mornings for this treat. I’ve also started carrying small scraps of meat from breakfast to give to the alley cats between my hotel and the embassy. Cats don’t grow to be as large here as they are in the United States, but they all have disproportionately large heads with big eyes, giving the everlasting impression of kittenhood. The residents of the city seem to like the cats and frequently leave table scraps on the sidewalk for them after dinner. Around 7PM, all the cats in the city come out of hiding and run to claim the scraps in their respective territories.
Tonight I am going to have a new suit and some shirts tailored for me at a local shop. The owner is said to be extremely eccentric and never forgets anyone’s name, even after several years. Most of the Congressmen who come to visit Thailand stop by this store, and he can recite their measurements from memory. Perhaps I will finally be able to get some dress shirts that fit properly instead of bunching at the waist.
I am starting to get used to the time change, but still woke up at 3:45 AM today. I will probably head back soon and take a short nap, because the heat combined with the jetlag has about put me into a coma for the day.
Wishing you the best from sunny Siam,
Something Fishy
Unfortunately, I am still waking up at 3AM, which is early even by early-bird standards. I cannot seem to program my internal clock to go forward a full twelve hours, with the unfortunate consequence of lethargy in the early afternoon – either that, or all the tasty food!
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to go to the largest aquarium in Thailand. There are brochures for it everywhere, and they definitely charge tourist-level prices for it; the
farang (foreigner) admission fee is 900 baht, which is certainly more than what most of the street vendors live on per week. Fortunately, I was able to convince the cashier that I was a resident and get a huge discount, which is pretty impressive considering I’m a foot and a half taller than a native of Thailand and whiter than a snowball. The aquarium was fantastic – lots of interesting fish that are native to the warmer waters in Thailand, plus a house-sized aquarium that you could walk through via glass tunnels, which housed several large sharks. For an additional fee, you could don a dive suit and go in, but the sharks were quite large and had several rows of nasty looking teeth and looked hungry, so I decided not to pay to have shark wounds inflicted on me and just watched from the other side of the glass.
Along the way to the aquarium, a large outdoor Buddhist shrine took up the better part of the block, so I observed people worshipping for a while. Eventually, a native Thai came up to me who was a history teacher at one of the international schools and spoke English fluently, and she talked a bit about what people were doing and the symbolism of it. I laid a little flower wreath on the statue for good luck, and may see if I can find a cathedral tomorrow just so I can cover all my bases. One can never be too insured by deity when traveling overseas.
I tried Peruvian chicken, which was delicious – they brine whole chickens overnight in a vinegar and oil mixture and then grill it in front of you. It is very spicy, but dissolves in your mouth before you can swallow it. I ate half of an entire chicken for lunch, which is good, because after touring the aquarium, I couldn’t decide what to eat for dinner so I played it safe with some local mango ice cream. Being an adult is great, because you can dedicate an entire meal to ice cream. I have gotten a little more adventurous and tried some meat from a street vendor from an unknown animal. I guess it’s true what they say – “tastes like chicken!”
Unfortunately, I spent so long at the aquarium that I didn’t get to the suit-tailoring place. I’ll be working late at the embassy today due to a meeting with Washington DC, so I guess it will have to happen tomorrow. This weekend is the outdoor marketplace at Chatachuk, which is 34 acres of small shops that set up early Saturday morning and run until Sunday evening. You can buy anything at one of its 15,000 stalls, including tropical aquarium fish, purebred Siamese cats, hand-carved jade statues, and everything in between.
Anyway, I must get back to the grindstone. Hope all is well.
On Squashing Pennies
I ended up working all of yesterday, and didn’t get to go sightseeing. I will spare you a play-by-play of the minutes of fun one can have at a typical day at an embassy and keep this short. For the first time since arriving, I slept past 4AM, and am definitely feeling a bit more chipper today.
Money in Thailand, no matter the denomination, has the King’s picture on it. The King is revered in Thailand, and even stepping on money is a grave insult – thus you never find money lying on the ground, and the paper currency is usually in pretty good condition. Street vendors will avoid taking currency with a “dirty” hand; for instance, the nice lady that makes me my orange juice will not use her orange-stained hand to take money. When I visited the aquarium a couple of days ago (see Something Fishy…), they had the penny-squashing machines that will stretch a penny and stamp a logo from the destination on one side (and always seem to appear at tourist traps). While I collect squashed pennies and would’ve gotten one anyway, I was extremely interested to see how it would be handled in this case… would they really have a machine that defiled currency in Thailand? I waited with bated breath as I inserted my coins – would I be kicked out of the country for making a souvenir?
Fortunately, I will not be convicted of
lese majeste any time soon; after depositing 20 baht, a small blank silvery disc was automatically dropped into the machine from a hidden reservoir and I got my squashed “penny”. Thailand finds a way to bring all the comforts from home, including a Ronald McDonald at every McDonald’s entrance giving the traditional Thai
wai’ greeting with hands pressed together and head slightly bowed.
Out of My Comfort Zone
Since my last intrepid e-mail, I have moved a little further out of my comfort zone and experienced some truly singular events; as referenced in an earlier travelogue, I went to go get some shirts tailored at a fantastic shop called Rajawongse. This is the must-shop experience for men coming to the embassy, as evidenced by how many Department of State business cards Viktor Rajawongse has on display in his shop. I can proudly say that I am now there too, in good company with many ambassadors, both President Bushes, and Barack Obama. While I am not prestigious enough to get a photograph on the wall like the aforementioned celebrities, I did enjoy looking at the photos of President Bush (Jr) getting fitted for a suit. He looked like he was cracking jokes the entire time.
Of note is that the renown tailor is smack-dab in the middle of the red light district. I didn't realize this coming off of the BTS SkyTrain (similar to the DC metro, only suspended above ground about 60 feet - dad would love it, no doubt), since I was intently trying to find his shop; however, I definitely realized it coming
out of the shop, as the vendor who set up shop was selling certain paraphernalia that might make a sailor blush. To make matters worse, I decided to walk back instead of taking the train back, and mis-calculated which direction the train had originally come from, so I walked about three quarters of a mile into the heart of the red light district. Jenny will be happy to know that I was propositioned several times by women who I suspect may have been men - the Adam's apple kind of gives it away. By the time I realized my error, my pace was somewhere between a brisk walk and a full-out sprint and I decided to just hop on at the nearest train station. Someone at work suggested I buy a compass.
It was not entirely bad, however - I found a nice old lady with one eye selling four spring rolls with sweet and sour sauce for 20 baht (less than a dollar). The spring rolls were gigantic and she cut them up and put them in a little to-go box with a wooden poker to eat them, and I ended up getting so full that I didn't need to eat anything more for dinner. I am making a killing on per diem on this trip, as I am allocated approximately $40 USD a day for dinner. If I continue eating like this, I won't spend $40 USD the entire month I'm here for dinner.
After getting my suit tailored and turning down some nice working "ladies", I met up with some guys to catch a movie at one of the several local mega-malls. As odd as it sounds, the movie experience was also recommended as a "must do", but that's because you can see movies out here "First Class". For 450 baht (about $14) you can get a large overstuffed electronically-reclining seat with footrest and massage with a blanket, all-you-can-eat popcorn and drinks, and entrees brought to you by your own Thai butler. The popcorn comes in four flavors - salty, caramel, sweet (kettle corn) and ginger (the caramel was definitely the best). You have a little button on your armrest that summons your butler to get you more popcorn or even steak with a nice Chianti if you want it. The First-Class theatre can only hold about forty people because the seats are so much larger. Before the movie starts, you sit in the First-Class lounge that has a huge buffet and interesting fruity juice that is a combination of coconut and raspberry and ends up tasting like blue cotton candy - they escort you to the theatre and start it when everyone is seated and reclining and has plenty of snacks to get them through the previews, which are about 40% longer than the preview time in the USA because they have to show all the movies coming from America and then all the movies coming from Thailand and Japan and India. They're all subtitled in the local language so the Thai don't really care - they'll watch everything.
This morning (currently 5:38 AM my time) I will be going to the large Chatuchak weekend market
(http://chatuchak.org/) that I referenced earlier for some bargain hunting. I was advised to arrive very early to beat the crowds (about a quarter of a million people will show up today) and the heat.
Shopping in the Oven
The weekend was fun. I managed to do some interesting things but still relax. We do not have the abominable Daylight Saving Time in Thailand, so no setting the clocks forward here. I am now only +11 from Eastern time, which is actually less convenient when you’re trying to schedule teleconferences with people in Washington DC – when it’s +12, it’s easy enough to just swap AM/PM in your head.
On Saturday, I got to the outdoor market nice and early, as suggested by a coworker. He was absolutely right – even though many of the shops weren’t open by the time I got there, I was able to get my bearings much easier than if I had come when everything is fully open at 10-11AM. Without all the people milling around, I picked out a few landmarks that would help orient me through the maze of shops – and mazes they are. There are so many thousands of shops that it seems like there’s no order to anything, but after a while, you start to recognize that the people selling counterfeit purses are all clustered together, across from the people selling second-hand t-shirts and sneakers stolen from tourists at the Buddhist temples (where you are obligated to remove your shoes). There are literally hundreds of stalls selling the exact same souvenir trinkets, hoping that they will be the first ones you see – because of this, I decided that I would walk for several hours and just browse before buying anything.
Now, all of these shopping stalls are crudely covered by corrugated tin roofing, to protect the shops during the upcoming rainy season. The shops are not simply in long rows – rather, they are in bunches of hundreds, and if you walk the main walkways, you’ll miss most of the stores. You have to walk through these tiny one-person-wide alleys between the shops to see everything. These alleys have small troughs that run parallel to them that allow for “draining” – of rinse water, fat runoff from the food stalls, and when someone decides they don’t want to walk all the way to one of the five bathrooms that is supposed to service this market of a quarter of a million people over about 30 acres. All of this combined with the sun beating down on the tin roofing at 95 degrees results in what can best be described as “Hell’s Urinal.” You kind of get used to it after a while, and even get your appetite back. I ate some fantastic Tandoori chicken wrapped in naan, and cooled off with a local favorite – drinking chilled coconut water directly from the coconut (the coconut is submerged in ice water, and when you buy it, the guy chops off the top with a machete and puts a straw in it for you).
I am happy to report that I bought myself lots of goodies, and none for you guys – only kidding. I tried to pick out an eclectic mix of souvenirs that suit your personalities, and got hand-made items where possible. Along with the mass-produced junk and the interesting trinkets, there were also a myriad selection of animals to choose from – both for pets and for eating. Surely the term “puppy mill” was invented to describe the conditions of the dogs here, as they were frequently crammed in cages with no room to move, and I felt especially bad for the long-haired huskies who were panting in the heat. Kittens were placed in bird cages whose wires were too far apart, causing the kittens’ legs to constantly drop through the bottoms of the cages. There would be so many kittens in the cage that the “stuck” ones on the bottom would have to wait some time before they weren’t being walked on to hoist their arms and legs back into the cage. There is very little oversight of the animal industry here, both in breeding pets and in zoos – Westerners are frequently shocked when they see Asian zoos, because the animals frequently look dirty or miserable.
I actually enjoy going to the “rougher” places that aren’t polished for tourists – you learn a lot more about how the locals live, and gain a better appreciation for how lucky we are to live in the United States.
Getting Around
Last night was laid back. I just walked around a bit, and re-visited the MBK mall that I went to last Monday to eat some of the delicious red curry again. I could just get some from a street vendor, but I’m pretty iffy on eating things that aren’t grilled or fried in front of me. I was already feeling a little under the weather; I suspect the fried rice with ham I ate for lunch, so I wasn’t in the mood to spin the wheel on intestinal cramping for dinner.
On Friday, I had a need to take my first taxi. Getting a taxi can be a bit challenging in Thailand, as the literacy rate and familiarity with English is directly proportional to one’s social status and income level. Some taxi drivers cannot even read above a third-grade level in their own language, let alone understand English. Furthermore, unlike the USA, taxis are not well regulated here; if you are going far, you typically have to open the passenger-side door, explain to the illiterate driver where you want to go (usually consists of naming landmarks around your destination until the driver seems to understand), and then asking “meter work?” A common scam is for tourists to get in taxis and then once you’re on your way, the driver tells them that the meter is broken and then he quotes a price that is between 40-80% more than what it would’ve been metered. Frequently, you never get that far because when the taxi driver understands where you want to go, he’ll shake his head once, or make an “…eeeehhhhh” sound, which means that he doesn’t want to take you – perhaps it is towards the end of his shift and he doesn’t want to drive away from home, or the traffic is bad, or he doesn’t think he can pick up another fare at your destination, but it’s extremely important to get this confirmation
before you get in, or else the driver may just drop you off at a random point along the way once he’s had enough.
I went through half a dozen taxis before one wanted to take me from the embassy housing area back into Bangkok, a drive of about 15 minutes with no traffic, but seeing as there is always traffic, a reliable 40 minute ride. The traffic was horrendous getting back into the city; Thai drivers like most of their counterparts in other Asian countries, do not follow conventional traffic laws. It is not unusual to see drivers going the wrong way on one-way streets, nor is it unusual to see three lanes delineated by the traditional white highway lines turned into four or five, because people just start driving halfway on the shoulder or just create a new lane by edging between two cars in different lanes. Most highway traffic is driving close enough that one could easily reach out and touch the mirror of a car in another “lane.” Anyway, the traffic finally got to my cab driver, who pulled over at a random point and uttered the most famous English phrase in Thailand – “same same”, which means “close enough.” It was definitely not close to where I had asked to be dropped, but fortunately for me, it was close enough to a train station that I could ride the rest of the way back.
To really understand the prevalence of “same same”, one must visit Thailand, as it has become something of an international joke, complete with t-shirts. I have heard the “same same” response to the following questions during my visit:
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“Will this battery work in my phone?”
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“Is my masseuse female?”
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“Are you sure this is chicken?”
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“Is this really an iPad? Because the Apple logo is upside down and doesn’t have the trademark bite in it.”
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“Is this a bootleg copy?”
One does not want to hear this response to things that truly matter, such as something associated with electricity, gender, or your GI tract.
Anyway, I need to finish up some work before my culinary adventure at 11:00 AM known as “lunch.”
Mystery Meat Adventure
Yesterday afternoon, I picked up my new shirts from the tailor, and boy am I sold. It is undoubtedly the first time I have worn a dress shirt that actually fits me. There is no annoying bunching of excess material at the waistline or sides, and it is long enough for my frame that it stays tucked in even when I scoot around in my seat. I am going again tonight for my suit coat fitting.
Since I had a hike to the seedy part of town where the tailor is, I decided to dine on entirely street-vendor food – besides the food carts that run nearly the entire length from my hotel to the red-light district, there are several enclaves in parking lots or cul-de-sacs that are filled with people selling food. I armed myself with $5 (about 150 baht) to spend, and set off.
First was a stand selling fresh fruit. I picked an easy one of fresh strawberries. They were good, but not nearly as good as Higson’s strawberries in June. The bag was pretty big, so I was eating these and walking for the better part of a kilometer.
Next was a stand selling what appeared to be crepes – I asked the vendor what they were, and he explained “hot dog.” It was five baht, so I don’t have anything to lose, and tried one, and it was delicious! A lot like a corn dog without all the bready stuff – just a sweet thin pancake wrapping a hot dog. I actually have a hankerin’ for one of these right now.
Once I finished the hot dog, there was a mango stand. I bought a sliced mango with what appeared to be a small bag of sugar. I ate several mango slices (they’re in season, and just dissolve into sweet mushy goodness in your mouth) before trying the “sugar” packet – boy was I wrong. As it turns out, the packet was salt and some kind of spicy herb. I basically salted my mangos to an inedibility, so I had to declare the rest a lost cause. I did try eating one, and I am here to tell you salty mangoes are gross.
A bit discouraged, I finally came to the meat stand – I have seen these all around, but have been kind of scared to try anything because the only recognizable item is the whole fish that has been battered and baked to a crisp and is staring at you with blank, lifeless eyes. I selected three skewers at random, and ended up with “chicken parts”, “beef spheres”, and “something that may have been pork.” I ensured that all three were cooked in front of me and hot before taking them, to at least slightly mitigate the possibility of getting sick. “Beef spheres” won out, but I was a bit put off by the pieces of tendon and bone that were in one of them. It was kind of like meatloaf on a stick.
My stomach was feeling a little perturbed by now, so I played it safe with some won-tons on a skewer. I don’t know what was in them, but it was some sort of meat with curry and wasn’t too bad. The consistency is what kind of made it icky, almost like a chunky pudding.
Now, at this point, my stomach knew that it was being conned and was doing cartwheels in protest, so I decided I was done. I had spent three dollars at this point and was really full, but then I passed a home-made Thai doughnut stand, and just had to stop for a strawberry-filled doughnut. Fortunately, there were no animal parts to report in the doughnut, and it was probably the best doughnut I’ve ever eaten.
I am happy to report that I am not feeling sick today, and thanks to a small dose of Imodium, there are no ill side-effects from my culinary experiment. I’d better get going, since my fitting is in half an hour, so I’ll leave you to the rest of your day and bid you adieu.
Working too Hard
Unfortunately, I was at work until 10:00 last evening, so I didn’t get to do much sightseeing. My stomach definitely appreciated the reprieve, but I am itching for adventure. I will fortunately get it tomorrow, as I am taking off around noon to fly down to Phuket (pronounced pooh-quet). I am really excited! I am still trying to decide if I’m going to do the ocean kayaking in the limestone caves, or ride on an elephant through the jungle on Saturday, and then Sunday will be a beach day. I fortunately was able to get my hotel points in Bangkok awarded early, so I could then turn around and use them in Phuket to avoid paying for a hotel. I ended up booking a five-star on the beach, but just two days there used up all the points I will accrue with thirty days in Bangkok, but judging from the photos of the resort, it’s worth probably worth it. Due to my flight, my travelogue may be delayed tomorrow.
I thoroughly enjoyed my tailored shirts so much that I decided to get a suit made. I went yesterday afternoon between meetings to my first fitting. My longer frame combined with my posture from having a bad back make most suits look big on me, so it will be nice to not have a jacket that gives the appearance that I’m wearing NFL shoulder pads. The first fitting was kind of fun – the jacket is just a rough cut-out without the arms or anything, so it looks like you’re wearing a vest. They stick a bunch of pins in it (yes, this made me quite uncomfortable, but they didn’t poke me) and mark it up with chalk for what needs to be adjusted and cut off. Then they take the arm pieces and pin them on to get an idea of how much they will need to adjust for your arm length. It was a pretty lengthy process and I was frankly glad to be out of my prototyped suit full of needles. I will go back today for the second fitting, and then start getting ready in earnest for Phuket.
Made it!
I am safely in Phuket after a less-than-optimal flying experience with budget airline "Air Asia." I significantly underestimated how long it took to get from the airport to the hotel (about an hour and a half), which was compounded by the fact a tour bus had not been able to handle one of the downhill hairpin turns into Phuket town proper and was skewered by someone's balcony (photo attached); however, all is not lost, because I was upgraded to a nicer room since I was late in arriving and my other room had been taken.
Kayaking
My kayaking trip yesterday was a blast. I didn't get seasick, which is a miracle - okay, not really a miracle, since I took 6 Dramamine throughout the day. I still feel a little fuzzy.
My group had about 25 people in it. We all rode on a large motorboat for about an hour and a half to where the islands are, and then hopped on inflatable kayaks to visit various "Hongs", which are the hollow center that some of the islands have. We would kayak through a cave entrance, and after about 250 meters of darkness, arrive in the actual Hong. It is pretty hard to explain and do any justice to the incredible experience - photos make it a bit easier, but my photography skills are lacking. I shot some video that I will put up on YouTube when I get back to Bangkok and have a stable internet connection.
Some of the caves are pretty narrow - in a couple places, you had to build up some momentum and then lie down in the kayak because there was only a couple feet of clearance. My guide joked that I might still end up getting hurt because I had a "long white nose instead of a proper small Thai nose" when we had to lie down for a particularly narrow portion of a cave.
Towards the end of the evening, we entered a cave, stopped, and turned off all the lights. It seemed weird that the guides would do this, but then they stirred the water with the paddles and the water lit up! There are tiny bio-luminescent plankton in the water, and they glowed the color of fireflies when you jostled them. This was really cool, hard to describe, and impossible to take pictures of.
Anyway, off to enjoy my last little bit of beach before I head back this evening.
