Next Step?

So, I went to get my ultrasound today after work.  I really felt like the appointment was just a formality just to check to "make sure" that the medicine was working.  I mean, the Lupron was basically shutting down my estrogen production.  There's nothing left to "feed" the endometrioma. 

Well, I asked the ultrasound tech if I could speak directly to the radiologist afterward today because I was tired of waiting for news.  The tech was very kind and was able to get the radiologist to speak to me the same day.

I should have been sitting down.

It turns out that the endometrioma on my right ovary is the same size... maybe even slightly bigger. 

I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be GONE.  I've been going through menopause for the last three and a half months for basically nothing.

I was brave.  I didn't cry.  The radiologist told me that she had endometriosis as well and she was still able to have four children.  She was very optimistic and tried to even joke with me about how the male hormones they gave her "back in the day" made her really buff... and that guys have it easy when trying to tone their muscles, and blah blah blah.  I just kind of stood there feeling dead and hopeless inside.  I tried to crack a smile at her obvious attempt to cheer me up.  But, it was just BAD news.  And it really came out of no where.

I left the office swiftly, but got stuck behind a woman in a cute maternity shirt that was leaving the building and walking at a slightly slower pace.  I really tried to rein in the tears. 

I got lost driving home.  The signs were fuzzy.

I couldn't call Doug because he is in Thailand for the next month.  So, I did the next best thing and called my good friend Caitlin.  It's important to have good friends.  When you get news like that, you just need to talk to someone.

I got home just in time to get Doug's nightly Skype call.  It's 12 hours difference.  He tells me good night and I tell him good morning.  He listened and was supportive.  What else is there that he can do?

Another good teacher friend of mine moved into my neighborhood recently and had me over for dessert tonight. We talked about non-depressing things and I think I'm going to make dinner for her cute little family.  I've been really fortunate to have good friends that keep me busy while Doug is gone and my house is empty.

I called my doctor and left a message to set up a phone appointment for hopefully tomorrow.  Honestly, I don't know what all this this means, but I'm pretty sure I was on this medication to see SOME improvement... and it doesn't really look like there was any.  I thought that giving me the Lupron shot was taking out the "big guns."

I don't even know what the next step is.