Happy Holidays!

Doug and I rotate the major holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas between his family and my family.  This year Doug and I flew out to Utah to spend Thanksgiving at his parents' place and then stayed local to have Christmas at my family's new house.   It was weird not being at the old house, but as you can see it's unavailable while under a bit of construction.

My dad (who is 60) has been doing ALL of the work on his OWN.  I think he should just pay someone already!

While we were out in Utah, I got to see my grandparents and do a cousin's dinner.  I was looking through some cupboards at my grandma's house when I stumbled upon a cabinet full of photo albums.  Unfortunately, my time there was limited so I didn't get to stay and listen to as many stories as I would have liked, but I did snap a few pictures of pictures.  Here are a few of my favorites...

This is a picture of my grandpa (third from the left) playing football in junior high.

This picture is of my grandparents (couple on left) at some swank restaurant called the Moulin Rouge in Hollywood, California.

I LOVED all the stories that my grandma told me and I hope to be able to take an extended trip out this summer to be able to scan in these images and write down the many family stories that go with them.  While I was out in Utah, I got to see my adorable niece, Eva... and my sister Kierstan too.  Eva is such a good baby!

Eva, Me, and Kier (LOVE Eva's shirt by the way!)

 After visiting with my grandparents, we were able to spend the rest of the time up north with Doug's family.  We had a blast playing laser tag, making gingerbread houses, eating a yummy Thanksgiving dinner, getting some family pictures taken, and basically just doing fun family time things.

Our gingerbread house was AWESOME this year!

We took some pictures in front of the tree at Doug's parents' house while we were in Utah for Thanksgiving.

So onto Christmas...

It was weird being in the new house, but it was still a fun Christmas.  My dad changed things up and it was basically chaos.  Instead of having an order with one person opening at a time, he just started tossing gifts in every direction.  Heather and her family were able to come up and join us as well.  It was pretty crazy having Christmas in the morning and then needing to get everyone ready for church, but we had to make it on time considering that church was only an hour block instead of the usual three hour block.

Here's the list of what Doug and I got for each other.

 

What Doug gave Jenny:

Hoover Windtunnel vacuum cleaner

External flash for my Nikon

Remote for my Nikon

What Jenny gave Doug:

<--- Leather recliner for reading

Folding table to work on computers

Rudolph Ornament Set --->

Here are a few pictures that I've taken so far with my external flash.  We set up a sort of "studio" at the bottom of the stairs.  You can see the remote in the the hands of some of the kids.  They thought it was pretty cool to be able to take their own pictures.  At this point, I'm just messing with the settings so I can try to get the hang of it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

High-Jacked

So some crazy, negative chick high on Lupron, who complains a lot, high-jacked my blog and changed it to this new darn "enhanced" look with no gadgets on the sidebar. It's too much of a pain to change it back to the way it was, so I'm just going to have to deal with until it improves. She also changed my Facebook over to timeline!

Yeah, well besides having multiple personalities, I'm doing well. I got all of my Christmas shopping basically done this Saturday online and a little in the stores. My credit card got rejected because apparently shopping at two online retailers (Barnes & Noble and Amazon), filling my car with gas, and then going grocery shopping is a sign of fraud. I guess I need to shop more.

I hope this school week goes fast. No one wants to be there (and that includes the teachers). I'm looking forward to sleeping in for several days in a row. After school is out, I have a couple different get-togethers planned with a couple different high school friends. Besides that, I don't really have much planned for my break. Maybe I should start contacting contractors to put the build-in in the front room... Or buy the crown molding for the front two rooms.. Or paint the kitchen and family room... Or...eh, I'll probably do nothing.

Lupron

So two weeks ago, I went in to get the DepoLupron shot.  Yes, the one that is supposed to put me through a temporary menopause.  I was going to get it the Monday before Thanksgiving, but my stupid brain got all hopeful that I got pregnant my ONE whole month off of birth control.

Getting my period feels like serious punishment after all that hope. Especially when it was a whole three days late and I had caved and gotten on the stupid Baby Center due date calculator the night before. (Would've been an August 9th due date if you were wondering.) The first day is pretty terrible both physically and emotionally.   Now for those of you that know me outside of my blog, you know I am not one for drama.  I don't really cry.  I rarely take pain pills and NEVER take sick days.  I'm just not one of those high maintenance or emotional gals.  The only time I really cry is sometimes when I'm watching TV.

Whenever I researched endometriosis online, everyone wrote on the message boards about how much terrible pain they were in and I always thought Lucky me, I'm glad I don't have THAT type of endometriosis.  Well it turns out that my luck is no more.  After the month of November when I wasn't on any form of treatment, the first day of my period was pretty terrible.  That Saturday I was curled up in bed, crying, and grasping at my right side.  "Doctor Doug" made sure that I was comfortable with a heating pad, pain pills, and food when I was up for it.  Luckily, the severe pain really only lasts that first day.  Throughout the month though, I get these short stabbing pains in my right back side that last anywhere from 2-10 seconds.  Sometimes they knock the breath right out of me and I have to stop whatever I am doing.  Other times, I just grimace and it is over as quickly as it begun.

So about this shot...  As soon as I got my period, I was ready to get it like yesterday.  I called up my nurse and they were able to give it to me that Monday right after school.  The good news was that they were able to give me the time-release one that is three months worth of medicine in one shot, rather than going in three different times and paying three separate $30 co-pays.  With all the research that I did on the darn drug, nothing told me that I was going to get a shot in my hip.  Ouch!  At the doctor's office when I got into the room, I started pulling up my sleeves when the nurse kindly gave me the bad news that it would need to go in my hip.  I decided to stand for it, but I guess I didn't do a good job at relaxing because I was limping around for about 24 hours afterward with some sore muscles.

As far as side effects, I really think I have lucked out.  For the first week and a half, I was getting constant canker sores on the inside of my mouth on the gums between my teeth and my lips.  It hurt to smile and eat, but I was just thankful that it was inside my mouth and not on my face.  (Fourth graders are still learning that it is impolite to ask someone why they have a big ugly sore on their face.)  About three or so days in, I felt really depressed, but Doug was out of town (once again) and I was probably just missing him.  I don't think I've gotten any hot flashes yet.  I've been waking up in the middle of the night because I'm warm, but I think it's just because I've been turning my heater blanket up too high.  I also get noticeably hungry faster, but besides that I'm pretty sure I've just been normal me.  The side effect that I am hoping for is for these pains in my right side to go away... and of course, eventually pregnancy.

I'm turning 28 in February.  Doug and I will have been married for 7 years this May.  I'm really thankful that we've gotten this time to ourselves to work out the kinks and to get to know each other even better.  Maybe we needed it?  My problem is that I keep on waiting for my life, my REAL one to begin.  The one where Doug and I get to have cute family pictures to send in Christmas newsletters, where I get to pick up and drop off kids at practices, where I check over homework and help with ridiculous science fair projects... all that tedious stuff that moms sometimes complain about.  I see the little ones in church snuggling up to their mothers, crying mommy when they fall down, holding their hand when they walk.  I want it all so bad. 

This isn't the life that I thought I would be living, not even close.  But it's mine.

The "M" Word

It's been about three weeks since I've turned on my desktop computer.  Right now it's on because I'm updating my iPad.  I'm hoping the new update will allow me to post on blogger.

Anyway, I guess I'll update you on my life while my iPad is updating.

School is going well.  My kids are starting to get along and I have really great parent support this year.  I had a student that never showed up and a student that moved, so I'm down to 25 students, WO HOO!!  Shhh!  Don't tell anyone at my school.  I'm pretty sure it's a whole two students lower than any of the other fourth grade classrooms.  I guess that just means I'll get the first new student, but I'll just count myself lucky for now.

On the health/getting pregnant front... Well things are not what I wanted them to be.  On Halloween, I finished the last of the birth control prescription that my doctor put me on a few months ago to treat the endometriosis.  I got an ultrasound a week ago to check on everything and yesterday I had an appointment scheduled to discuss it all.  I was pretty excited for my appointment because I figured my doctor would be giving me the thumbs up for trying to get pregnant.  I was already dreaming of a late summer/early fall due date.  Silly me.

Well, I get in there and it turns out that my ultrasound was not good.  They're not exactly sure, but it looks like I still have an endometrioma on my right ovary that looks to be about 3 centimeters.  That's a lot better than the 10 centimeters that it was pre-surgery, but I'm pretty sure they were hoping for 0 centimeters.  The birth control I was on for three straight months didn't do what it was supposed to do.  Time wasted.  Now that I'm off birth control, things are untreated and it will just get worse every month.

I'm sitting there trying to figure out what all of this means.  Then my doctor asks me,

"Well it all depends on if you want a baby now or later?"

Tears are starting to form and I'm trying so hard to keep everything together.  "YES, I want a baby now.  I've been going through this now for over two years.  I want a baby yesterday."

She looks at me with a sad face and hands me a tissue.  Then, she turns over a piece of paper and starts making a little t-chart.  On the top of the t-chart are two headings "Baby Now" and "Baby Later."  She starts with the "Baby Later" side...

Option 1: There's a drug called Depo Lupron.  Its kind of like the Depo-Provera shot that women get for birth control except basically the exact opposite.  Depo makes a woman's body believe that she is pregnant by mimicking hormones that the placenta releases during pregnancy.  Lupron would make me go through a temporary MENOPAUSE, with hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings... all that fun stuff.  The treatment would take about 2-3 months depending on it's effectiveness, and THEN she'd put me on Clomid (a fertility drug) and we'd try to get pregnant right away.  She said that this medicine is very effective and that the endometrioma would go away.  Great... another 3 months of waiting...

Option 2: Now to the "Baby Now" side which I was hoping would be a lot better.  She basically said that we COULD try now, but she's not sure if I could even get pregnant.  When the endometriosis is bad, I can't get pregnant.  She doesn't know how bad it is right now.  You can't see endometriosis with an ultrasound.  The risks are not good.  There's a chance that the endometrioma could grow back again without treatment and I would be in the operating room again in a few months.  If we do this option, I will need to be closely monitored with ultrasounds 1-2 times monthly.

Decisions, decisions...

I talked to Doug about it when I got home.  Even though he was very weary of the Lupron, he didn't even hesitate to go with the "Baby Later" side.  He is first and foremost concerned about my health.  Ugh, figures!  It turns out my problem is that I want a baby more than I don't want to have surgery again.  The Depo Lupron seems pretty extreme (and scary) to both of us, but we want to make SURE that there is an endometrioma in there before I start taking it.

Right now, we're just going to try to get a better idea of things.  My doctor is having me schedule an MRI so she can get a better look at everything and we're going to do another ultrasound in about a week.  The problem is that they can't tell what is my ovary and what is the endometrioma.  Hopefully the MRI will clear up that up.

I'm praying right now that what they THINK is an endometrioma is just my ovary looking nice and plump and ready to make a baby.

Good Days and Bad Days

Yesterday started out Baaad, yes with a capital B.  One of my more demanding students this year injured some safety patrol and then came in the classroom screaming and out of control.  Then, about 5-10 minutes later several students ran to me at the door telling me about a weapon that had been brought into the classroom.  It wasn't scary because that student is not violent at all and there were absolutely no violent intentions, but it was quite a way to start the day.  On Wednesdays, I get one planning break at the very beginning of the day and that was taken up dealing with the first two situations.  Needless to say, we just tried to have a calm day after that.  I'll admit we watched a Reading Rainbow on trees that only matched up with the standard I was teaching about 75% of the way.

Then during lunch, I got a call from my mom who was waiting at my house for the delivery guys to bring the couches for the basement.  Apparently they didn't think it was going to fit down the stairs to the basement so they wanted my approval for a waiver that said that they would not be held liable if the couch knocked and holes in the wall and/or was broken in the process.  I went ahead and had her sign it because I was kind of desperate to get the couches in on a day that my mom could be there and I wouldn't have to take off work. I was really sweating it because I was pretty sure this was going to thing number three. Then, I got the text...

It was in with NO holes in the walls and NO damage to the couch.  I'm pretty sure we'll be selling them with the house though. :)

Here's a picture of the couches in the newly finished basement.

I stayed late at school, got a bunch of grading done, and then called a friend who I used to work with that could give me some advice on some situations I was dealing with.  It was great to vent, but more awesome to come up with some possible solutions even if they only work temporarily.

Before going to bed, I said a prayer where I mentioned something that I was thankful for in each one of my current students.  It helped me realize just how good of a class I have this year.  Even though I have some interesting personalities in my class, it will be OKAY and we are going to have an awesome year.

Today was a much better day. :)

Oh and one more thing that made today just that much more awesome.  Doug called and told me that he would be able to come home this weekend and SEE ME!!!!!  It will have been 18 days since I have seen him in person (the longest by far in our marriage).  I have missed him SO much and can't wait to see him TOMORROW even though I know it will only be for the weekend.

Random Mumblings

Recently...

-Doug is traveling. For 6 weeks. I've made it through 3 weeks so far. Reception is spotty so we don't get to talk much. I've been really proud of myself for being disciplined and going to sleep before 10 pm (most of the time). I've woken up EVERY morning at 5 am for work. Every night since he been gone, I've woken up randomly around 2 or 3 am. I just couldn't get to bed again this time. It's lonely.

-School started. 26 kiddos so far. The majority of this group loves to talk. But not about school. I'm working hard to change this into something productive. The beginning of the school year with a new class is like training a puppy, scratch that... litter of puppies. It's going to take time and it's a lot of work. I love them to death, but I miss the familiarity and discipline of my last dog, I mean uh class. Did that make sense?

Of course not. It's now 4 in the morning. I'm pretty sure I have these same feelings every single year.

What else, well...

-The carpet is in and the basement is basically done. It looks really good. The furniture is being delivered next week. For some reason, I haven't been able to get excited about it. It just makes my empty house feel emptier these days.

-I got to go to the temple with my sister Heather and her family this last weekend. Their stake was having a temple day. My parent's stake is having one this weekend. I haven't been to the temple two consecutive times this close together since I got married... over 6 years ago.

-Got the hospital bill or rather "Explanation of Benefits" in the mail yesterday. The whole thing cost over $20,000! I paid $30. Are doctors paid a salary or do they get bonuses for performing expensive surgeries? ...Thankful for good health insurance.

-I'm still on this darn birth control that my doctor prescribed to help with the endo. Having to take this dumb little pill every day is rather disheartening. I keep on telling myself that this is a means to an end and that I should be able to see the end in sight, but when I look at how much longer I have, it seems like an eternity.

-I think it must be messing with my hormones. I feel emotionally dead inside at times and other times I have to hold back sobs after hearing a story on the radio or watching a movie. Seriously, this last weekend I had to hold back tears while watching "The Living Scriptures: Nephi Builds a Boat." I'm not kidding. I feel messed up.

In an attempt to be happy, I've bought the ingredients for monkey bread and I'm taking it to school tomorrow to share with the teachers. Feeding myself and others yummy food will hopefully help me be happy. I'm really trying here.

Down to Earth Granola

We scheduled an appointment with Home Depot to have the bathroom floor in the basement measured for tile.  They didn't call until 9:00am to tell me that they were going to be here some time between 2:30 and 4:30pm.  I was going to go into work, but with driving, I only would have gotten in about 3 hours of work...

So, I decided to stay home and work on channeling my inner housewife.

This recipe has a little story.  Doug's Aunt Leslie is a great cook... well all of his aunts are because they learned from grandma.  Each time we go to her house, Doug snacks on her homemade "grainola" the whole time.  I asked for the recipe last time I was down there in June and finally decided to make it today.

Down to Earth Granola - Aunt Leslie
4 c. Old Fashioned Oats
1 1/2 c. Sliced Almonds
1/2 c. Packed Brown Sugar
1/2 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1/3 c. Cooking Oil
1/3 c. Honey
1 tsp. Vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
2. In a bowl mix the oats, almonds, brown sugar, salt, and cinnamon.
3. In a saucepan, warm the oil and honey (do not boil).
4. Stir in vanilla after the oil and honey are warmed.
5. Pour liquid in saucepan over dry oat mixture in bowl.
6. Stir until just coated
7. Spray baking pan with non-stick spray (line with aluminum foil beforehand if you like)
8. Spread mixture into 15 x 10 x 1 inch baking pan (deep cookie pan).
9. Bake 30 minutes stirring gently every 10 minutes.
10. Remove from oven and let cool before breaking into pieces.

Step 2: Mix all dry ingredients in a big bowl.

Steps 3-4: Warm oil and honey in saucepan, then add vanilla.

ALL DONE!  Time to eat it all!

I despise doing dishes, so most of the time I make Doug do them since I do all of the cooking.  I went ahead and cleaned up after this because it was so easy.  I just made sure to put down aluminum foil in the cookie pan first.  It took two pieces because I want to make edges to keep it all in.

The good thing is that this stuff is cheaper (AND TASTES BETTER) than the granola I buy in the grocery store.  It wasn't hard at all to make.  The hardest part was remembering to set the timer so I could stir it each time.  I also like that all of the ingredients, except for maybe the sliced almonds, are things that you have in your food pantry already.

After I took it out of the oven the last time, I let it sit for about 20 minutes before eating it.  It wasn't quite hard yet, but OH was it SO tasty.  Once it's completely hardened, I'll put it in a cereal container and add it to lunches to put in yogurt.   That is, if I don't eat it all first.

Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves

Disclaimer: I didn't take pictures, but this is basically what it looks like.

So, I'm not sure if this recipe is something that others had growing up, but my family had it tons.  Yesterday, I was trying to come up with something new for dinner that I had the ingredients for and I ended up making Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves.  Basically it is little meatloaves wrapped in bacon... and since bacon basically makes everything better, they were VERY tasty.

I cut the recipe in half for just the two of us and made a few simple substitutions because I didn't have some exact ingredients.  I crossed those out and put what I used instead. (If you make it, you can use whatever is most convenient.  I personally didn't notice a change in taste.)

Bacon-Wrapped Little Loaves Recipe
2 lbs. ground beef
1 1/2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs
1 c. dry bread crumbs toasted bread (crumbled)
3 Tbsp dehydrated minced onions
1 tsp instant beef bouillon 1 package onion soup mix
1/3 c. lemon juice
1/4 c. water
8 slices bacon

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.  
2. Mix beef, cheese, eggs, bread crumbs, onions, lemon juice, water, and bouillon.  (onion soup mix)
3. Shape mixture into 8 little loaves.
4. Cut bacon strips in half
5. Place bacon strips crisscrossed on each loaf, tucking ends under loaf
6. Place loaves on a rack (or broiler pan) in shallow baking pan.
7. Bake uncovered for 50 minutes

Makes 8 servings

I didn't have a rack OR a broiler pan, so I just put them on one of my deeper cookie sheets and lined it with aluminum foil.  I turned the edges of the foil up so it created a sort of bowl to keep the juices from going everywhere.  (Clean up was a BREEZE!)

I like this better than just plain old meatloaf because ONE - the serving size is already determined by the little loaves, so dishing up is a breeze. TWO - each little loaf is cooked perfectly and gets a little crispy, and THREE - the bacon (duh!)

Enjoy!